12 Things I Don't Understand

In no particular order. Just jotting (is that possible since I'm typing?) them down as they come to me.

1. Celebrating Bastille Day.
2. Toddlers in Tiaras. Show makes me sick.
3. People standing on the sidewalk watching their 1 1/2 - 2 year old baby running out into traffic. If I hadn't been going 10 mph I would have run her over. The mother literally did nothing to stop her and didn't even go after her. What's with that!?!?!
   
4. Bridezillas. I channel surfed past that show today and could only shake my head.
5. Not liking to read.
6. The difference between delegation and pure laziness. I'm being nice here. I do understand the difference and that most people are just effing lazy and too butthole-y to admit it.
   
7. Google+ (if you want an invite so you can try to understand it yourself, let me know.)
   
8. Bullies
9. How people continue to over-complicate every-effing-thing.
10. Why people have pets only to keep them outside. What's the point?
11. Tabloids...All forms of tabloid media.
    
12. Why we can't wear flip flops for all occasions, with all outfits, 365 days a year.

There are tons more things that I don't understand, but I'm so tired that this is all my brain will come up with at this time. If you feel you are able to explain one or more of these things to me, feel free to leave a comment.

Smokin'

Random picture of Bailey because you're insane if you think I had the presence of mind to take a picture of the flaming smoker.

We're very low-key when it comes to celebrating holidays. We do up Thanksgiving and Christmas but all the others, I really could do without. Seriously, if I didn't have kids I think holidays would be just like any other day. The Mister agrees with me on this.

Still, we did up the 4th of July this year pretty good. We had plans to grill out and then hit the fireworks show in Santee like we do every year. Well, every year that we're in California.

The morning of, the Mister and I needed to run a few errands. We needed some melon, an extension cord, mosquito repellent, and other stuff that I can't remember now. We went to Home Depot first because it's easiest to get to from our house without a lot of traffic. We're going through the store and picking up what we needed and walked down the aisle with the grills. We have a fairly new gas grill but we had been wanting to get a smoker for some time now and what better occasion than the 4th of July? Sadly, the only smokers Home Depot had were in open and damaged boxes. Seriously. How do they expect to sell crap like that? We put down all of the things we picked up and went to Lowes.

Our nearest Lowes is located in a highly populated shopping area. It's in the same strip as the Ikea and we were really trying to avoid going there on a holiday because, as we expected, traffic was maddening. After parking ten years away from the store, we go in and find the extension cord, a few varieties of wood chips to go in the smoker, Off Clip-On fans (which I recommend), and the smoker. We get everything into the car (because we were dumb and didn't bring the SUV to the hardware store) and head home (forgetting the melon).

The Mister, being a man, is totally excited to get the smoker put together and try it out. This is what he's doing while I head to the grocery store for the forgotten melon. I get home and he's all ready to put the meat in the smoker. Living next to an open canyon in Tinderbox Socal makes me leery of having open fires so I ask him if he read the directions and knows what he's doing. Of course he has!! Um yeah. I'm looking at the rather large flamage going on in the smoker out of the corner of my eye while the Mister, the oldest child, and I play some Monopoly Deal on the patio. (No way in hell was I going inside while we had a potential raging inferno on the patio.)

We're playing, flames are growing, smoke is getting thicker, and I'm getting more nervous by the second. I ask the Mister again, at the risk of sounding all naggy, if he's sure that he has everything under control. Of course he does!! But, all three of us are watching the smoker while our cards are forgotten in our hands waiting for the inevitable. Then the Mister points out how the paint on the side of the smoker is bubbling and melting off the side. Huh. Is that normal? Next thing you know, flames are shooting out the door of the smoker and the freaking PAINT (or what's left of it) on the side of the ding dong thing is on fire. This is when I jump up, freaking out, run into the house to get my phone in case I need to call 911 (in my frenzy, I've forgotten that my phone was sitting next to me on the patio table) and the Mister is shouting, "Get the hose! Get the hose!" Nuh uh. I'm not coming back outside. He's on his own to get the garden hose and put the smoker out. Ok. So I'm not so good when it comes to fires. The oldest and I watch from the door while the Mister is soaking the smoker and putting the flames out and we both breathe a sigh of relief. I'm thinking that the smoker is going in the trash on Tuesday but no. The Mister, being a man, is eyeing the smoker with the same look that I'm sure prehistoric man had when he was trying to figure out how to cook his mammoth for the first time. The smoker is now a thing to be conquered.

He drags the thing out into the yard so that the sun can dry it out a bit saying how he's glad we bought so much wood chips so that he can try again. And lo and behold!! He reads the directions (the same ones he claims to have read already) and sees that the thing has a fill line for the heat source. He had WAAAY overfilled it, obviously. The second attempt goes much more smoothly considering that the flamage was much more under control and we were able to actually put the meat on the thing this time. So we're smokin' and playing our game waiting for dinner to be done. By this time, we had been at it for HOURS trying to cook some chicken. The youngest rolls home (she had been out playing with her friends up to this point) asking when dinner was going to be ready. She was STARVED. We tell her that it won't be much longer (really having no idea if we were right or wrong).

It's starting to get late. We need to eat, get ready to go, and drive to Santee early enough to get parking before they close the streets down. The girls and I get the side dishes ready while the Mister checks the chicken which is nowhere near done so he gives up on the smoker and tosses the bird parts on the gas grill, lmao. Still, having had the benefit of being on the smoker for as long as it was, the chicken tasted fantastic.

The Mister has since attempted to smoke meat once more with much better results (he had done some research on the web). We had a beef roast that tasted amazing but it took all freaking day to cook because he couldn't keep the temperature high enough on the smoker. The smoker is still a thing to be conquered.

After 15 Years, He Can Still Surprise Me

I chose this picture because it cracks me up every time I see it and is the opposite of this post.

The Mister and I were talking the other day. I don't really remember how it came up, but we were talking about people being uptight and he asked me if I thought I was uptight. I replied yes because I really think that I am. I tend to be obsessive and I think obsessiveness lends itself to being uptight or is a part of being uptight. The Mister was surprised and told me that he doesn't think that I am. That surprised me because I think I am very obviously uptight. I'll tell you why.

I have unbending beliefs and attitudes towards certain ideals, other people's attitudes and beliefs, and life in general. For instance, I am a believer of science and the things in our world that have been proven with physical evidence. If I can see a thing, I believe it exists and that it is true. I'll explain this further...I believe that ghosts (or whatever you want to call them) exist because I have had unexplainable things happen right in front of my eyes. On the flipside, I don't believe other people's ghost stories because I didn't see it for myself. I'm not saying that they're lying, just that I have to see it to believe it. I believe in the existence of prehistoric life because I have touched a mammoth tusk with my own two hands. What makes me uptight in relation to this topic? I don't understand how people can believe in something that they've never seen for themselves. I don't understand faith and I think those that have faith in the unproven are naive and looking for comfort and for explanations for the unexplainable. And you will never change my mind until I can see and touch evidence to prove my beliefs wrong.

Vices. I am completely uptight when it comes to drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. This makes me somewhat of a judgmental hypocrite since I occasionally enjoy a glass of wine or something stronger, but excessive drinking upsets me and I hate being around it. But who am I to say what is excessive for someone else, right? Still, I don't understand addiction and why someone opens themselves up to being controlled by a substance. Taking Excedrin for my migraines bugs me but I take them to function. No matter how bad my insomnia gets, I avoid taking OTC sleep aids. They scare me. I've always hated prescription drugs so there is no way I would take illegal drugs. And smoking. If you don't know where I stand when it comes to smoking, then you know me not at all.

Lies. I don't like being lied to. Who does? But I'm unforgiving about it. Don't effing lie to me. Not to spare my feelings. Not because a lie is easier. Not because the truth will land you in crap. I don't forget lies. If you think that I have, you'd be really, really wrong.

Parenting. I'm an uptight parent. I like to know where my kids are at all times. I like to know who their friends are. I always talk to the parents of my girls' friends before they are allowed to sleep over at someone's house I've never met previously. Even the oldest child. I don't let my kids bully other kids. In fact, I make my kids look out for other kids that are littler than they are. One of the conditions the Mister and I have for paying for the oldest child to have a cell phone is that her cell phone is open to on the spot inspections without warning. If she doesn't like it, well, I don't enjoy paying $300+ a month for our cell phone plan so that she can have a data plan. The same can be said for her Facebook and e-mail accounts. If she wants it to be completely private, get a job and pay for it by herself. My kids have chores. They have rules. They have a mom that is interested in their grades. I don't think I'm so uptight that I haven't cut the umbilical cord, but I do think they are somewhat tethered by apron strings. Oh wells.

I'm set in my ways and I am not open to other people's opinions. I think that makes me uptight. I am nothing if not honest and I can admit that about myself but I don't think being uptight makes me a bad person. Maybe an un-fun person but I can live with that.

Check it Out! It's New!

I'm trying out something new. I hope it's fun and will end up being a regular feature on my blog. If you decide to participate too, please leave me a comment so that I can go and read what you had to say!!

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear Friday morning and LINK UP!

1. How close to your childhood dreams is your life now?

I have no idea. I guess in terms of being healthy, happy, and alive, I've achieved my dreams. Professionally though, I feel directionless right now.

2. What is one must have item for the summer?

Flip flops. That's it. Nothing else need be said.

3. Do you have your kids stay up on school stuff during summer vacation? (Or, if you don't have kiddos, did your parents make you keep up on school stuff during summer?)

I try to keep them reading and interest them in educational shows that I like to watch on the History Channel. Stuff like that. But I don't have them practice their multiplication facts or anything like that.

4. Do you can or freeze fresh produce?

Nope. The year I had a tomato forest in my backyard, I really wish that I knew how to can and/or freeze them though.

5. Do you get ready for the day first thing in the morning?

It depends. If it's a workout day, as soon as I roll out of bed, I put my workout clothes on so that I don't change my mind about working out, lol. A day like today where all I had was a client meeting over the phone, I'll admit, I'm still in my pajamas and it's after 10, BWAHAHAHA!!

Retro TV: Mad About You

Even before I became obsessed with Friends, I was a huge fan of Mad About You. Before this week, I hadn't seen an episode for years but we have a new channel (at least I think it's new. With 1000+ channels, I can't keep track) that airs two episodes Monday through Friday. It's now firmly embedded in my DVR recording list.

I totally missed Paul and Jaime Buchman. They were who I wanted to be when I grew up. They both had successful careers, they had a fantastic apartment in NYC (I still envy their bookcases), and they had nifty, if neurotic, friends. Oh. And they had Murray the dog after whom I named my second rabbit.

Other than the last couple seasons, I loved every minute of this show. MABEL was one of the biggest disasters of sitcom television, in my opinion. I'm happy that I have a chance to escape into their world a few times a week.

Fun Times Hiking

A lizard on the trail

Hiking is one of our favorite outdoor activities. Lucky for us since there are endless options for hiking in our part of the U.S., specifically, San Diego County. In one day, we could, theoretically, hike in the mountains, in the deserts, at the beach, in the valleys, you name it. We've hiked several times and in several locations the first time we lived here from 1999-2003 and a few times since we moved back a year ago. This last time, we decided to go to Mission Trails Regional Park. We've been here lots of times, but it's such a large preserve, approximately 5800 acres according to their website that we still haven't hiked all the available trails. This time around, we hiked the Old Mission Dam and then we hiked the Oak Canyon Trail/Fortuna Mountain trail. This hike is rated a 3 which means that it's moderately challenging but not impossible for the average person. From start to finish, we hiked six miles total. The elevation gain was only about 300 feet though which isn't too bad. It was a great workout is what it was.

On the hike, we saw several types of lizards, lots of birds (we even saw a mating pair of hummingbirds) and two different snakes. The first snake was very thin, very long, and it was swimming in the San Diego river eating bugs. It was pretty nifty. The second snake we saw was the biggest snake I have ever seen outside of a zoo. We were walking along when all of a sudden, the youngest started having a fit and said that there was a snake on the trail. Sure enough, we look ahead and there is a big ol rattlesnake crossing the trail in front of us. We noticed it when it was about ten feet ahead. That is the closest any of us have come to a dangerous animal in nature. That we know of, lol. It was freaky and none of us wanted to walk past where it had disappeared into some brush, but unless we wanted to turn around, that was our only choice. We gave the snake a few minutes to move away from the trail (we hoped) and then walked as far as we could on the other side, lol. It sure made for an interesting hike.

We're hoping we can get a few more hikes in before it starts to get too hot.

Burn Out and Taking Time Off

The Pier at Avila Beach, CA

Burnout, specifically where work is concerned, is such a real thing. I pretty basically worked without a break for three years straight. I do my best to take weekends off like a normal person and most major holidays, but when you have your own business, it's hard to take true time away. For many reasons. First and foremost, when I take time off, I don't get paid. It's not like I have a vacation plan, lol. I only get paid for the actual hours that I work and I certainly don't get paid vacations. Secondly, it's just hard for me to step back and let things slide. I have a responsibility to my clients and they have expectations.

In the last three years, the family has taken two vacations to the Outer Banks and one trip to Ohio, and I also flew to Ohio by myself to be with my dad when he had surgery a while back. During each of these events, I either had work to do or school work to do or both. During our family trip to Ohio, I took a business call in the middle of a corn field. When I was at the hospital with my dad, I took a call outside of his room in the hallway. Working from home and being a business owner has made it incredibly difficult for me to separate my work life and my personal life. Even when I'm not actively working or "on the clock", I'm thinking about things that I need to do for my clients. It kind of sucks, to be honest and it resulted in burnout. I hated my business, the work I was doing, and my clients. I was unhappy all the time and I started having insomnia again, and migraines. I hadn't really felt like that since Vermont.

So, I took some real time off. The Mister and I took an honest to god vacation to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary earlier this month. I gave my clients plenty of notice, (one of them had a year's notice and still bitched and complained when it came time for me to "leave".) both of us left our laptops home, and we went away by ourselves for a week to Paso Robles, CA and then another week just to be home and off of work. I didn't check my email, personal, business or otherwise, the entire two weeks. It was fantastic. Out of this world, fabulous, straight out of a dream, GREAT! We ate too much fantabulous food, drank too much wine, lounged by the pool and read books, and generally we were lazy slugs. We stayed out as late as we wanted each night and slept in as late as we wanted each morning. I can't even remember a time when I had absolutely no responsibilities. Oh. I forgot to mention that our mothers (yes, you read that right) flew out from Ohio to stay with the girls the first week while we were in Paso Robles. So that first week, we were able to do what we wanted, when we wanted, without having to worry about work or school, or about getting dinner on the table for the kids. I need to remember to do this more often than once every three years, lol.

How's the burnout? Well, to be frank, the jury is still out on that. Personally, outside of my business, I'm feeling fab. Then, when I sit down in my office to take care of client tasks, I start to wonder in which direction am I headed. Do I still like the work that I do? I'm starting to wonder if my vacation, rather than solving the burnout issue, it gave me some perspective instead. Time will tell.

Oh. In addition to the pic at the top, I have uploaded vacation pictures to my Facebook account if you'd like to see them. Central California is beautiful.

Shut Up and Don't Nag Me About This

The title...My exact words to the Oldest child when she asked for the umpteenth time if she could get her face pierced. When she turns 18 and moves out on her own, she can pierce herself until the cows come home. Until then, nuh uh. Maybe this makes me old. Maybe this makes me unyielding. Maybe this makes me judgmental and no fun. I can live with that. The Mister happens to agree with me 100% on this. United we stand. She can pierce her ears however she'd like, but no body piercings and certainly nothing on her face. I don't think a 14 year old can grasp the ramifications of what a facial piercing means and how it permanently scars. I'm stodgy. I'm boring. Again...I can live with it.

The Wrath of Mom

You know how I hate Mondays, right? Well, tomorrow is going to be a particularly rough one.

We have to get up at around 3-3:30 am so that we can have the oldest child at the airport by 4:30. Why? She is taking a class trip to Washington, D.C., Gettysburg, PA, and NYC this week. I am very much the nervous mom. I can't believe that I'm sending my child clear across the country without me or her dad. And just so ya know. The first person that tells me she'll be fine and laughs at my mom-ness is going to get my foot up their butt. Seriously. I'm sure she's going to have the most absolute wonderful time with her friends and see some fabulous historical sites, but I will worry nonetheless. I just hope she gets lots of great pictures.

After we get back from the airport, the Mister has a 6:30 meeting at work and I have one from 10-11 and another from 11-noon. I can't imagine, after having to get up at the time of the morning, that I will remember what happens at either of these meetings let alone be of any use at them. Good thing I have a nice supply of coffee in the house.

I can't believe that if I were to go to bed right now, I'd have to get up again in 8 hours. The sun hasn't even gone down all the way.

Welcome Back! We're Staying Put

This is a long overdue post. The Mister arrived home from Afghanistan safe and sound February 27th. If we are Facebook friends, friends IRL, or family, you already know. But for those of you that don't want to be friends with me on Facebook :( this is news to you. The homecoming was pretty neat. Their flight didn't get back until about 9:30 at night so I wasn't expecting anything special at the base but there ended up being a band and lots of people and fanfare so it was nifty.

As for our contest, the Mister won by less than 1/2 a percent. He opted to get a new set of golf clubs as his prize. I have to wait until at least May 27th before I can buy a new purse, lol. I made up for it by buying some new sunglasses though. ;) Honestly, I was disappointed and surprised that I lost. He ate ice cream every day for dessert and had steak every Sunday and barely worked out. I, on the other hand, dieted and ran at least 12 miles a week on my elliptical machine and I also did aerobics at least once a week. I really expected to win. AND!!!!! Since he's been home, I've gained freaking four pounds back. Sheesh, gosh, and holy freaking moly! I am so not happy about that. He's such a bad influence, lol.

Also, we had decided that we were moving out of base housing while he was deployed. Our property was vandalized twice in three months. Not to mention that base housing just sucks in general. So, one day after the Mister touched down on home soil, we started looking for a new house. We didn't really tell too many people about this because I didn't want to get a certain somebody's hopes up. Now I'm glad that I didn't because finding a rental that would accept our two Boxers was harder than I thought it would be. So, we gave up and decided to stick it out in base housing for a while. I finally unpacked the rest of our boxes this past week. An entire year here and we still hadn't finished unpacking. I think this contributed to our overall feeling of dissatisfaction with our living situation. All of the things that makes a home a home, knickknacks, whatnots, photographs, etc., we had left packed up in boxes. Living like that gives you (at least it does me) a feeling of instability and being temporary. I missed my things and I'm glad they're out and about now.

Anyway, that about brings everyone up to speed. The youngest is doing well. The oldest is taking her 8th grade trip to Washington D.C. and NYC next week. The Mister is back to work. And I'm up to my same old shenanigans.

Multitaskers Unite!

Random picture: OBX, NC

There are some people who believe that multitasking is a myth. They think that a person's perceived ability to do more than one thing at a time and do those things well is, well, untrue. On the other side of the coin, there are people who believe that they can do more than one task at a time, give each task the attention that it needs, and complete each task on time and satisfactorily. I happen to be in this camp. As a mom, student, business owner, and sometimes single parent, I have to be able to multitask or nothing gets done. There are times when I'm doing things for myself, personally, while completing tasks for clients at the same time. Or I'm conducting research for a paper while having my eye on Facebook. When I'm watching TV I am always doing something else at the same time whether it's internal planning in my head or crocheting the Oldest Child's blanket that I promised her. However, there are certain things that I have to devote my attention to 100%.

For instance, if I'm reading, I am definitely NOT paying attention to whatever you're saying to me. I may even respond to you out loud, but I have no idea what you said or even what I just said to you. Same thing goes if I'm typing. I have to pay attention to what I'm typing or whatever I'm saying will make no sense whatsoever. I also have a really hard time paying attention to a phone conversation if I'm doing something else at the same time.

So, do you believe in multitasking or do you think people are just fooling themselves into believing that they can do more than one thing at a time?

Foot Woes

("Random Picture" This is a rain storm that I could see in the distance from my backyard.)

Yesterday was a bad day for my left foot. First thing yesterday, I dropped a baby gate (for use with my misbehaving dogs) on my foot. I'm sure my neighbors heard me cursing about that. It hurts to walk on it and to wiggle my toes. Then, I was leaving last night to pick up the oldest child from a school thing. When I was trying to lock the front door, the screen door swung shut on me, hit my heel and scraped the skin off. Again, pretty sure I entertained my neighbors with some colorful language. Lucky for me, I prefer to wear flip flops because putting my left foot in a shoe right now is out of the question.

I think this was my karma for trying to take the day off of work yesterday. I have one particular client where the hours I work for them is capped per month. I still get paid if I go over, but I try to stay within the confines of my contract with them. I'm already 5 hours over that cap and with a meeting that I have today, I'll be 6 hours over. There are still 4 days left in the month and my inbox for them is filling up with e-mails that I can't just ignore for even four days.

In other news...

I got an email yesterday from the Mister's Family Readiness Office with the subject line, "HOMECOMING!" So, we're in the home stretch. The funny thing is, in the email they give us dates when to expect them to come home. Then, they remind us of Operational Security (OPSEC) which is basically not giving away any information that could undermine security. Yet, they send this information out to hundreds, literally, of unsecured e-mail accounts and in the next sentence, tell us not to post the information to social media websites, lol. I'm sorry, but I find that ironic. A woman that I work with, just yesterday, had her Gmail account hacked. It happens. All the time. If the powers that be want to keep secrets, sending them out in unsecured e-mails is not the way to do it. I'm also not dumb or naive enough to think that the info they sent in that e-mail is entirely accurate and for just that reason. Blah. Whatev.

An Open Letter

I found this on my computer today while I was looking for another file. I wrote it some time ago, October'ish maybe, but I like what I had to say and it's definitely still relevant to how I continue to feel. Seeing a light at the end of this deployment tunnel, maybe it's good to sit back and reflect. I know there are people that are going to read this and think it was directed at them. Oh well. That's life's lemons and it is what it is. ;)

An Open Letter to Whom it May Concern,

Life is full of challenges, ups, downs, good times, bad times, accomplishments, and failures. If we didn’t have the negatives, how could we appreciate the positives? I honestly believe this. However, I still stand by my opinion that making lemonade out of life’s lemons is utter bull. Sometimes it just isn’t possible and sometimes, you have no control over the amount or size of the lemons that are hurled at you at blinding speeds. That being said, how you handle the bad stuff is reflective of who you are and most people are made up of more than just one ingredient. We’re strong, we’re weak, we’re vindictive, we’re complacent, we’re kind, we’re cruel, we’re happy, and we’re bitchy. We’re all these things, none of these things, some of these things, and more than these things.

Since my husband has deployed, I’ve constantly dealt with people asking me how I am. At first, I just answered politely, forgot about it, and moved on. Then I started getting offended. Does everyone expect me to just lose my mind and sit around and cry all day? Aren’t I strong enough, adult enough, and a good enough parent to hold things together for my kids, my husband, and myself for a few months? Yes. Yes, I am. I’m not going to lie and say that I haven’t had my moments of anger and sadness. I’ve cried a few times. But you know what? Under normal circumstances, I’m moody and emotional! I’m not really all that different because my husband is deployed except that maybe I have lower lows. And wouldn’t I be some kind of automaton or, at the very least, wouldn’t there be something wrong with our relationship if I didn’t care that my husband is half way around the world from my kids and me? (At the end of the deployment, I don't really care when people ask me this anymore. But I didn't want to edit the original contents.)

You know what else? It’s rough being a pseudo-single parent. I wonder if it’d be easier if I just didn’t have anyone to miss along with having to handle things on my own. I don’t have an answer to that one. This deployment has certainly had its challenges that our first one did not.

In addition to dealing with an emotional 14-year-old girl who is missing her dad and testing her boundaries, I also have an 11 year old with ADHD and significant learning disabilities and developmental delays. My dogs have both had health issues and have cost me an arm and a leg. My car needs a break job. My extended family has more than its share of health issues that have just cropped up. I live in a house and in a neighborhood that I despise. I have legal issues that have come up that will affect our life for the next ten years at the least. I’m running my own business and trying to expand it. I’m taking college courses that are very challenging this semester. I have insomnia and headaches 5 out of 7 days a week. My husband is deployed to a warzone. Pfft.

All in all, deployments are for the birds. They suck and I hate them and I would never suggest going through one as a means of entertainment. But that’s life. So the eff what? My experiences don’t make yours any more or less important, life changing, or whatever. No matter what you’re currently struggling with, it is impacting your life and therefore, significant to you. My life and the contents therein, don’t take away from you and they don’t, and shouldn’t be, compared to see which of us has the biggest bruise. I don’t pretend to be inside your head and I would appreciate the same in return. You know the saying about walking a mile in another person’s shoes? Well, you’re not in my shoes. Unless you’ve lived my life exactly and perfectly from birth, you can’t truly know what I’m experiencing and more importantly, how it’s making me feel. And for the love of Pete, don’t pity me. I don’t need or want pity and it pisses me off. Talk to me like a normal person or don’t bother talking to me at all. I’m not a thing to be pitied and that’s insulting.

In the grand scheme of things, when I look at the big picture, my life is pretty darn good. Sure, there are things that I would change, but that just gives me something to work towards. Challenges are to be met head on so that you can feel good about yourself when you overcome them. Deployments are challenging. 14-year-old girls are challenging. Learning disabilities are challenging. News that comes in certified letters is also challenging. I’ll deal with all of these things as they come along. Sure, I’ll lose sleep but I’ll keep the makers of Excedrin in business (and eventually, whomever makes ulcer meds, lol). My greatest hope is that I’ll be a positive example to my girls. That would be a true accomplishment. I won’t achieve this by belittling someone else’s problems though or by being a bad friend, bad wife, or bad mom. I hope that when my girls look back on this that they remember that while we were at each other’s throats on occasion, we also came through the other side having gotten our dogs healthy, relying on our friends when we needed a shoulder, being a shoulder to our friends when they needed one, and we became closer to each other by holding each other up. Even though their dad was gone and we missed him terribly, we still laughed every day even if we cried too.

Being Touchy Feely

This has been one of the top news stories the past few weeks: Pat downs and full body scans at the airport. I usually stay away from overly hot topics, but since I will be flying next May, I have an opinion on this one.

First of all, I would much rather be scanned than touched by strangers. I don't care that TSA are professionals and they're trained. So are prostitutes. I don't want them touching me either. I am not and never have been a touchy feely type of person. I hug friends and family but not people that I don't know very well or don't like. I don't like shaking hands either when it comes right down to it. I certainly don't want strangers rubbing all over me, and yes, the TSA people do that from what I've seen on the news, especially in full view of lines of other strangers. I can count on one hand how many people have touched my boobs: my husband and my doctors. That's it. The thought of TSA people doing so in public sets my nerves on end. I will definitely opt for the full body scanners when the time comes. I will wear the most simplest clothing that I can find to do my very best that nothing looks suspicious on the scans so that I won't have to have a pat down in addition to the scan.

I've seen lots of people that say that if you don't like the scans and pat downs, then take a bus or drive yourself. That's a very narrow opinion if you ask me. You can't take a bus overseas and I can't imagine taking myself and my kids on a bus from California to Ohio in the case of an emergency or something. The Mister and I are taking a 15th anniversary vacation to Fiji in May. You can't drive to Fiji from the United States. Should I opt to just stay home?

When it comes to my kids, I will definitely avoid flying whenever possible. I really don't like the thought of strangers rubbing their hands over my children. My youngest, who doesn't have "normal" reactions to strangers, this will be a real problem for her and it makes me wonder if parents of other special needs kids have or will have the same sorts of problems when it comes to this issue too.

Something else that bugs me about this is where does it stop? It used to be that we just had to pass through metal detectors and send our carry on luggage through an x-ray machine. 9/11 happened and airport screenings really stepped up. It made it so that getting from your car to boarding your plane takes 2 hours now. We have to take our shoes off (which I find weird but not overly so, btw) and all other manner of things at the gate. Then came along full body scanners and now we have to be subjected to being touched by strangers. What happens when some reporter or someone else trying to make a point, gets past the new security and onto a plane carrying things they shouldn't have been allowed to take on the plane? I see a future of naked people walking around the airport and anal probes. I have to wonder how much I am exaggerating here, if at all...

Hello Old Friend

Our Thursday meme brought to you courtesy of Booking Through Thursday

Who would you rather borrow from? Your library? Or a Friend?

(Or don’t your friends trust you to return their books?)

And, DO you return books you borrow?

I don't borrow books. I think if I were to borrow books from friends, I would return them...eventually. However, almost every single time I (or anyone in my household) checks out books from the library, they are returned late. The same thing goes if we ever rent a movie or video game. We just have a block when it comes to returning borrowed items on time. I would much rather just buy my books, especially since I consider my books to be a collection, than borrow them from the library only to rack up fines and return them late.

In the same vein, I can only think of one or two people to whom I would loan my books and trust them to return them to me in a timely fashion. I can recall lending books to someone only to have the person return my books to me three years later. I've also loaned books out and NEVER gotten them back. At this point, if I give someone a book from my collection, it is with the understanding that I never want the book back and don't expect to ever see it again. I'm firm about it and not afraid to say no to a loan request, and have, either. ;)

I Knew It Wouldn't Last

So I'm all out of the running for NaBloPoMo. I figured I wouldn't make it to the end, but this year, it was out of my hands. My Internet connection has been spotty to say the least for almost a week now. As a result, I've had to turn in homework late, answer work emails days after I get them, and drop out of NaBloPoMo. I'm completely frustrated. I called Time Warner and they verified that I was having problems with my connection saying that my modem wasn't receiving info (No! Really?!?). I had a tech out on Friday and he blamed the problem on my wireless router. The wireless router tech blamed my Internet connection. I'm inclined to believe the router people because I've never had as many connectivity problems as I've had with Time Warner. We've had several issues with our connection since we moved here. We also have continuous problems with our cable too. For instance, my on screen guide doesn't work on my downstairs DVR box. My DVR also regularly will record only the first 10 minutes or so of a show. My HD channels tile so badly that I can't watch them occasionally too. Thus far, I'm am not impressed with Time Warner.

In other news...

As you may or may not have read in a previous post, the Mister and I are having a weight loss competition. So far, he's beating me by about 2%. We both decided to boost our weight loss with supplements. I don't know if you have had any experience with weight loss supplements but they suck. They work, but with side effects which suck. I'm not promoting them so I'm not giving names and don't ask. Do your own due diligence should you decide to try them out. The ones we both opted to try out have large amounts of caffeine in them. This means that we can't ingest any other forms of caffeine while taking them. No chocolate, no coffee, and certainly no soda. I haven't had any liquid caffeine in over a month. That's the longest I've ever gone probably since I was a toddler, lol. Lucky for me, I don't crave chocolate so that's not a big deal. However, I love my soda and coffee so it's been a challenge to give them up. I know. There's decaf but I don't believe in decaf. It's all or nothing for me.

Another result of our challenge is that I have given up fast food. I admit, I was a fast food junkie. If you've never watched Supersize Me, you should and you will understand how fast food can be an addiction. But you know what? I don't miss it at all. I feel really good about eating healthier. The biggest challenge of giving up fast food is that the kids don't understand it and they constantly ask to eat out. I need to sit them down and make them watch Supersize Me. I actually have it on DVD so I just might do that. The problem with making kids understand why eating bad food is bad for you, is that they are young and thinking about the long term ramifications of eating unhealthy food is beyond them. My dad has had so many procedures for heart disease that I've just about lost count. The Mister's family also has a history of heart disease. My kids have it coming at them from both sides. I need to change their eating habits now while they're still healthy and while I still have any influence in that area, lol.

On Having a Good Day and a Quiet Evening

I had a great day today. I sat out on my patio and enjoyed the heat. I only lasted ten minutes before I had to go in though. Highs in the 90's today. I love the heat, especially in November, heheh. I also got caught up on some work today. AND, the Mister called. He's doing well. His biggest complaint is being bored. In a war zone, I would think bored is better than the alternative.

As for my evening, the youngest's mouth got her sent to her room and the oldest is at the high school for band practice. It's just ME in my clean house relaxing with no kids to bug me. Heaven.

Swimming in November

We've been having beautiful weather here in SoCal. Considering the downright chilly summer we had, I'm enjoying the warmth. We're having a mild Santa Ana so our high for today was 88 and the forecasted high for the next two days is 92. I LOVE it. It was so nice that the kids went the neighborhood pool for 2 hours after school today.

Oh. And last night, (for those of you that aren't Facebook friends) the oldest child put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. The dishwasher was so full of bubbles that you couldn't even see the dishes inside and suds were running across the floor. It was pretty funny looking back. At the time, I just couldn't believe that she'd do something so silly. We had dishwasher tabs for pete's sake. Kids.

Should I? Can I?

November is supposed to be National Blog Posting Month. I don't even think I attempted it last year with moving and other stuff. I don't remember. Should I attempt it this year? With the Mister gone, I have even less to say than under normal circumstances, lol. But, whatev.

Today, I wasted a good part of my morning trying to buy passes to Comic Con 2011. They went on sale this morning at 9 am PDT. I was online at 8:30 and had the page open, my credit card standing by, and I watched the clock waiting for 9 am to roll around. It took something like 15 minutes just for the page to refresh. I was on two computers trying to get the website to work. It was so overloaded that it took about 45 minutes just to get to the first registration page. I typed in my info, hit "next" and then the next page wouldn't load. I did this until 10'ish when I checked their FaceBook page and saw the message, "We are aware of the current server issues and are working on a resolution. We apologize for the inconvenience." The comments on their page were quite funny. I certainly wasn't the only person who was frustrated. Anyway, at about 10:30, they posted another message saying they were still trying to fix the problem and to check back on the 8th for more info about when tickets would go back on sale. I was pretty disappointed. 2011 is the first year that I will have a chance to go and I can't even get the tickets, lol. The biggest gathering of geeks and they are brought low by technical issues on their website. Ironic, I think.

So closes my first post of the 2010 NaBloPoMo. ;)

Handy Tip

I’ve been searching for a solution to a certain problem of mine for the better part of a decade. Researching soap making websites, I finally ran across something that made a lot of sense to me, knowing what I know about how soap is made. What’s my problem?

I’ve had issues with my face breaking out. It’s worse than it ever was when I was a teenager. It first started when the Mister deployed to Japan in 2002. Everyone told me that it was stress. Well, maybe that’s what triggered it, I don’t know, but it never went away. In the years since, I’ve tried everything from face washes, astringents, and scrubs that you buy at Target to the more expensive varieties you can buy at high end department stores. I’ve had prescriptions from doctors. I even tried Proactive and NONE of it made much of a difference. The only thing I didn’t try was a prescription for antibiotics because the side effects I get from them are worse than acne, believe me.

Then, a few months ago, before we moved to California, I ran across a website that had an alternative-type solution. At first I was skeptical until I stopped to think of the soap making process and then it made perfect sense to me and I decided to try it out. I waited a bit to make sure it wasn’t a fluke before posting about my results. I still get the occasional spot here and there especially when my hormone levels are up and down (if you know what I mean) but for the most part, I’m extremely happy. So, what the heck did I try??? Oil. I’ll be more specific.

I went out and bought an empty travel bottle at Target. It cost me $2.99 I think. Then, I made a solution that was 50/50 Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Castor Oil. You can try out different oils and different amounts BUT, the castor oil is a must. The other oil can vary. For instance, you could try sunflower oil. If you have oily skin, try a 30% castor, 70% EVOO mix. If you have dry skin, try a 10% castor, 90% EVOO mix. I’ve been using a 50/50 mix with great results. This is the method:

1. Put a quarter-sized amount of oil in your palm. Using the fingertips of your other hand, spread a thin layer of oil over your entire face.
2. Next, put some more oil in your palm (enough to thoroughly cover your hands but not enough that it’s dripping) and rub your hands together. Use your hands to massage the oil into your face. Relax your facial muscles and use upward, circular motions.
3. Take a washcloth and using the warmest water you can stand, get the washcloth wet, and wring out the excess water. Place the washcloth over your face. Relax and breathe in the steam. When the washcloth has cooled, use it to wipe the oil off, again, in an upward circular motion.
4. Rinse the washcloth and repeat step #3.

That’s it. You don’t need to wash the oil off with soap. The thin film of oil you leave behind acts as a moisturizer. This is my nighttime routine. In the morning, I cleanse my face with a cotton ball and an astringent. This is basically because some habits die hard and it also makes me feel like my face is totally clean to start the day. I also use the nighttime oil to remove eye makeup. It works just as good as store bought eye makeup remover unless you use waterproof mascara. That’s a little tougher to remove. If you find your skin drying out, use less castor oil or try this method every other day. I can’t say how it works using it more than once a day because I’ve never done that.

Not only is this a great way to relax at the end of the day, it’s all natural, and it’s very inexpensive. I don’t know about you, but I always have EVOO in the house. I think a large bottle of castor oil is 3 or 4 dollars. Use a good extra virgin olive oil. The more yellow and less green that it is, the better the quality. Another tip that I do but isn’t necessary, I wash my washcloth with my favorite scented soap prior to placing it over my face. That way, when I’m relaxing and breathing,  I am inhaling a scent that I also find relaxing and pleasing to me.

If you decide to try it out, I’d love to hear your results, good or bad. As someone who has suffered with adult onset acne, I was thrilled to my toes to finally find something that works and I can feel good about using it because it’s all natural.