Thursday, July 18, 2013

5 Weeks and 1 Day Later...

Today is five weeks and one day since our moving truck pulled away with our household goods. Today is also the day that we received our final delivery of our household goods. If you count the days that the movers were packing us up, we actually went five weeks and three days before finally receiving all of our stuff. Oh wait. We have some missing things so I guess I should say most of our stuff. To say that I am a dissatisfied customer would be a massive understatement. Let me tell you how today went.

I got up at 7:30 am because we were told the local movers (they called last night to set up a delivery time) would be here between 8 am and noon. No biggie. Then I get a call at 10:36 am (I checked my caller ID thankyouverymuch) from our moving coordinator, Tonya. She's calling to ask how the offload is going. This is part of her job. She calls during packing, loading, and delivery. So I tell her, "It's going great seeing as how nobody is here." Insert awkward pause. "Nobody's there? I'll give the local company a call to see where they're at." Yeah. You do that. I don't bother to tell her we'd already gotten notification of when they'd be here and they weren't late. As a coordinator, she should have already had this information. She calls back a couple minutes later to tell me they'll be here by noon. Yup. I knew that.

So, the local moving company gets here about 15 or 20 minutes after noon. I've already waited over five weeks. Being a little late isn't something that even hits my radar but the driver explained that they went to the wrong house. I actually tell him that I've been waiting for five weeks so don't sweat the extra few minutes. Then he's all, "Is this an overseas move?" Despite the fact that our stuff is in wooden crates (Overseas moves always involve crates. Domestic moves usually don't.) and we've been waiting FIVE FREAKING WEEKS!!!! No, this isn't an overseas move. I don't say that in an all caps tone of voice. This poor schmuck has very little to do with the end results of this move. He just had the misfortune of being the third party company that was called to deliver our overflow. Seriously, our stuff was in storage so long that it had dirt and cobwebs on it. Not.Kidding.  >:|

At this point, we coordinate our lists, go over some paper work, and then the main guy and his helper dude start prying open the crates. We had two with a little over 1,000 pounds total. The first things that get in the house are our two bookcases. Out of all of our furniture and with the exception of the beds, the bookcases were the things that I was looking forward to getting and the things that I missed the most. My books are still in boxes lining the wall of our sitting area. As he unwraps the shelves, I immediately see damage. They're pine bookcases but they have that thin backing on them if you know what I mean. The backing on one has been torn completely off and there's a gigantic gouge on the back. The other has two scuff marks, a huge gouge on the front, and the backing is loosened. They both had drawers that go into the bottom that we use to keep DVDs in. Only one drawer was delivered. The other drawer has a chunk missing out of it too. I don't think the damage that has been done can be repaired. Structurally, the one can't even hold books in the condition that it's currently in. Cosmetically, they both look like crap now. I don't even want them in my living room. I'm so upset. I really loved these book cases.

Zoomed out view of bookcase 1
Up close pic of damage to bookcase 1
More upclose damage to bookcase 1

Damage to bookcase 2

Damage to bookcase 2

This is the same damage to bookcase 2 but how it looks from the inside. It's a hole.
It was really hard to get a good angle for pictures. Just so ya know.
We also had a mystery box delivered. On the inventory, it was listed as "pots and pans". We have the kitchen completely unpacked and couldn't, for the life of us, figure out what was missing that would be in this box. I open it up, and it has a really old griddle pan in it...to be fair. But then the rest of the contents was old soap making stuff:  the stick blender, kelp, rosemary, lavendar, and other colorants and additives. Yeah. Pots and pans. Sheesh.

So far, we're filing claims on two book shelves, the sofa, the Youngest Child's bike (it was delivered today minus a brake line), a broken computer monitor, a scrape on my bed, a box of missing DVDs, some missing bedding, and something else that I can't think of right now. Also thinking that an espresso finish on wooden furniture might be a bad idea if you're a military family. It shows every scratch and scrape. Then again, I don't treat my furniture like crap and it was in perfect condition before Stevens got a hold of it.

I'm happy that I can now turn on a lamp instead of using the overhead ceiling fan lights. They delivered our lamps in the first load but not the shades. But I still can't unpack my books. :(

This move has been a nightmare. NIGHTMARE. And it's not even over because we have to go through the whole claims process. I never want to move again. DO NOT HIRE STEVENS WORLDWIDE VAN LINES. PLEASE!! Not once, not one single time in the last five weeks have we gotten an apology or explanation for anything. It's shameful and I fervently hope they lose their military contract.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What Are You Saying?


 If you're reading this, you're obviously online in one way or another. Being online, I'm sure you're familiar with social media such as Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook. I use social media for a variety of reasons. I'll list them cuz bullets are fun. Get ready for some bulletizing!!!

  • News. I hardly ever watch the news on TV and I haven't read an actual newspaper in years. I use Twitter and Facebook, specifically, to keep up with the news. Sometimes, breaking news hits Twitter before reporters can get it out there themselves. 
  • Keeping up with friends and family. It's been about four years or so (I can't really remember) since I have been to Ohio to visit. And that last time was to be there for my dad's open heart surgery, hardly a social event. My nearest relative lives about eight hours away. My nearest friend lives about 12 or 13 hours away. I don't get the opportunity to see people face to face. I use Facebook to send out birthday wishes, peruse pictures of people's babies that I've never gotten the chance to see in person, and keep up with what everyone is doing. It honestly makes me feel connected.
  • Express my opinion. Social media is a great way of saying what you want, when you want, and about whatever you want. For instance, sometimes I get really fed up with what people are saying on Facebook. So, I'll make a blanket statement about the moronic and inappropriate (IMO), things people post on Facebook. I don't direct it at anyone specifically so that nobody really has the right to take it personally, but I feel better having pointed a finger without really having pointed a finger.
  • Research. I use social media to find reviews for restaurants and businesses. I also use it for decorating, crafting, cooking, and DIY ideas, just to name a few. Pinterest and Yelp are lovely resources. 
  • Work. I've used social media many, many times for professional reasons. I found my first client on Twitter which led to business ownership. I continued to use it to find new clients. I also used to it for marketing purposes for my own business as well as in my independent contractor status for other businesses. 
  • Entertainment. Social media is great for keeping up with your favorite TV shows, movies, and celebrities. I especially enjoy using social media for news about my favorite authors and books. 
I'm sure there are other ways that I, and you, use social media. It really has endless possibilities. All that being said, this isn't even the main point of this blog post. My main topic is, do you ever stop to think about what you are saying when you're online? And I don't just mean literally. I'll explain.

When you send a friend request to someone on Facebook and it doesn't get accepted, what do you think? Maybe the person just doesn't immediately notice friend requests. They weren't ignoring you or refusing you, they just didn't see it. I've been guilty of this. I'll be puttering around on Facebook and notice a friend request sitting there and think, "Huh. How long has that been there?" I don't always get e-mail notifications. Still, by not acknowledging a friend request, it can be a gentle way of saying, "I hate you and don't want to be your friend in any capacity. Go away."

Delving further into this subject...

What about when you're friends with Jane who is married to John but you're not friends with John and a friend request hasn't come from either side. What does that say? That you don't like John? That you're not comfortable being online friends with someone else's husband?

And what if your spouse is friends with both John and Jane and as a couple, you know them in real life but you're only friends with Jane? Or maybe you're not online friends with either one of them. Is that sending an unspoken message as well? Does Jane just not like you?  Not being friends with either, that couple must like your spouse but not you?

Would it just be more polite to accept every friend request you get but then select the option that makes their status updates not appear on your FB page. I've done that. Sometimes, I'm just not interested in what certain teenagers have to say or seeing the 1001 "selfies" that they post on a daily basis. Sorry. (Actually I'm not sorry.)


That takes us to what you're saying when you're actually typing something and hitting "send". Social media certainly gives people the needed distance, and thus protection and even anonymity in some cases, they need to speak their minds without regard to how their opinions might offend. Again, freedom of speech does not equal freedom from repercussions. To be totally cliche, words hurt just as much as fists, sometimes, more so. 

A common place for people to stand their ground is that "It's my Facebook (Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, etc.) page and I'll do with it what I want and if you don't like it, you can unfriend me." Thanks for your permission to block your annoying, foul-language-filled, sexually inappropriate, I've-gone-to-the-gym, I'm-at-a-bar-for-the-20th-time-this-week, I'm-a-religious-hypocrite updates. I'll get right on that. Feel free to block me/unfriend me right back. I won't take it personally. I promise.

In the end...
  • I didn't realize being considerate of others meant infringing on your freedom of speech.
  • I only accept FB friend requests from people that I know so if I didn't accept yours, you can assume:
    • I don't know you IRL. I'm getting old, so maybe I don't remember you.
    • I don't like you
  • Trust me when I say that the vast majority of your followers could give two turds about how often you go to the gym. Although, I do like following a weight loss journey...
  • I assume you're irresponsible and most likely an alcoholic when you post 7 days a week about your bar/drinking excursions. 
  • Make sure your freaking pins actually lead somewhere and not just to an image. Grr!
  • Know your audience. If you're friends with my daughters, I will unfriend you for them if I decide that your language, pictures, memes, etc. are inappropriate. The oldest may be 17, but the youngest is 14 and developmentally, she's 11. I don't care if you're family or not. And if you are family, theoretically, you should care more. This is why I feel that the label of "family" means squat but that's for another post.
  • Posting about your sex life online is:
    • In bad taste. Geez. Yeah it is. Stop arguing with me.
    • Not appropriate for younger audiences. It just isn't, no matter what you think.
    • You're in a relationship and getting some? Well, that's just odd. ::sarcasm much?::
  • I love pet pictures. 
  • I love cat memes.
  • I love baby pictures. 
  • When you publicly rant about being allowed to say what you want, when you want, you're also publicly acknowledging that you know you're being offensive in some way. Think about that.
  • When you post your drama online, you're inviting people into your private life and inviting them to express an opinion about your dumb decisions/actions. Yup.
  • Be political. Just don't be political all the time.
  • Lastly, KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Enjoying the Emerald Coast Kinda Life

It's weird, but we settled into beach life almost instantaneously upon arriving in Pensacola/Navarre.

The change from living in San Diego to living in Navarre is pretty extreme. First of all, San Diego has a population of over a million people. Navarre has just under 30,000. In San Diego, we lived in a very densely populated neighborhood where privacy was nonexistent. We could look out the back of our house and see I-15. And hear it for that matter. Where we're located now, you have to drive out on a state route for a ways, then turn off onto a county road before you turn again into our neighborhood which consists of three streets. Heheh. There's a dirt road that runs parallel to the main road in our development. A red dirt road at that. We live near NOTHING. It isn't convenient to bring home takeout for dinner. The nearest Target is something like 20 miles away. The nearest mall is an hour away. And I LOVE IT!!


We go to the beach at least once a week. The beach is only a few miles away. Have you ever been to the Gulf Coast of Florida? I've been to beaches at the Pacific and Atlantic oceans in America and the beaches here are the prettiest out of them all in my opinion. Pure white sand and water that's so clear that you can look down and see your feet and fish and stuff even in water so deep that you can't touch bottom. It's also a pretty blue/green color. Sometimes it's so calm that there are barely any waves at all. And I mean no waves as in, no white caps. The water is also bath water warm. In San Diego, the water is cold even in July and August. Tingly, prickly cold. In all the years I lived there and for all the many, many things I love about San Diego, I was never a fan of the beaches. They're too cold and there is never anywhere to park.

Navarre's motto is "Florida's Best Kept Secret". We definitely have tourists, but there's only a few resort-type hotels on the beach so it's never wall to wall people. If you drive a few miles down the road to Pensacola Beach, you'll find a typical, coastal tourist town with hotels everywhere, a boardwalk, and swarms of people. They can keep it. I love the laid back atmosphere of Navarre.

I know it's early and I'll probably be changing my tune come Christmas shopping time, but I don't even miss the amenities of living in a big city. Here, I get outside all the time to walk the dog, chat with the neighbors (Yes. You read that right. I actually talk with my neighbors and they're super sweet and even invited us to a neighborhood 4th of July party.), poke at the flowers and plants in my yard, or go to the beach. Everywhere else we've lived, getting out of the house always meant going shopping.

Tonight, we drove to the beach after the Mister got home from work. It was after six and most everyone had gone home for the day. We sat in our chairs in the sand while the sun set, gathered everything up and went home for dinner about an hour later. What'd you do tonight??

Friday, June 28, 2013

Our Move: The Ongoing Saga

Our packers arrived in San Diego on June 10th. We drove into Pensacola on June 15th. We got the keys to our house on June 17th. Our movers arrived on June 24th...with the first load of our household goods. That's right! They couldn't fit all of our stuff on one truck so we have to have two freaking deliveries. I said in my previous moving post that this is probably our #1 worst move. There is no longer any probably about it.

When you have professional movers, you get two teams of people. The first team consists of packers and loaders. The second team consists of drivers and unloaders. Every move we've had, these two teams have always been different people. So, Team One is responsible for wrapping your stuff up, packing it into boxes, and inventorying everything including the large items that don't fit into boxes like bicycles and sofas. As far as we can tell, Team One was full of illiterate idiots possessing no common sense whatsoever. Our things were packed in ways that made no sense. We opened one box labled "spices" that had one pepper grinder in it and the rest was all plastic storage food containers. Another box was labeled "lines" which I had to interpret as meaning linens. We open the box and the top actually had linens in it but underneath was all miscellaneous junk out of the office. And it goes on and on. Honestly, mislabeled boxes aren't that big a deal except when your things are being delivered in two shipments.

Team Two captain told us upon arrival that he didn't have all of our stuff. That's right. Our moving coordinator who calls with updates and schedules pickup and delivery couldn't even be bothered to tell me this when she called to set up delivery. Her name is Tonya and she sucks at her job. Anyway, Team Two captain apologizes and said that he tried to bring everything that he thought we'd need right away, leaving behind items that he thought could wait a week or more. It's a nice thought and makes sense unless you have a Team One that doesn't know how to pack and label boxes in ways that make freaking sense!!! Oh. And in his infinite wisdom, he didn't think a lawnmower was necessary to a family living in Florida where it rains everyday and the lawn needs to be mown at least once a week. Mmkaythanks.

Also, thanks to the lack of foresight and terrible scheduling of our moving company, our stuff sat in storage in San Diego and then again here in Florida before they finally delivered...most of our stuff. That means that our belongings were loaded and unloaded a minimum of five times that we know of. We've never had that happen before. Usually, the company gives you a tentative date for delivery until you give them a destination address. Then the driver arranges to be there around the same time that you are. When we moved from NC to CA, the driver got to our house minutes after we pulled up with the keys. Minutes, not days.

Some of our boxes were in such bad shape that they were entirely crushed and open and things that were just wrapped in packing paper had the paper completely ripped away. This is the first time we'll be filing damage claims with any of our moves. We've had damaged stuff in the past but didn't think it was worth the hassle of filing a claim. This company, Stevens Worldwide Van Line, will not be getting off so lightly. A computer monitor is broken. We're missing glass shelf clamps that were specific to the furniture the glass goes in and can't be replaced. One of my bookcase drawers has a huge chunk broken off of it. One of the recliners on my sofa appears to be broken as well. It functions, but looking at it, you can see that it's sitting out of line with the rest of the sofa. They also broke a piece off of my Dyson. It's not essential to how it functions either except that now when I have it in the upright position, my hair gets sucked down the wand thingy. And on and on.

To top it all off, I have a fling flangging cold and I feel miserable. This move definitely takes the top, #1 spot in our list of bad moves. One time when I moved, I was pregnant and outrunning a hurricane. This move is still worse than that one. And it's not even over yet. I still haven't heard from the moving company on when they'll be delivering the rest of our stuff. Please. If you ever hire your own moving company, do not choose Stevens Worldwide Van Line. This is our fourth professional move and we've had different moving companies for each one. Stevens is unprofessional, their employees are incompetent, and they have horrible customer service. Just read their reviews on Yelp and you'll see I'm not the only one dissatisfied with this company. I wish there was a way to ensure that they lose their contract with the military.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Having Finally Arrived in Florida

This move is probably at the #1 spot for bad moves. It has been the most unorganized, ill-prepared, rocky, full-of-surprises move we've made in 16 years.

On the California side:

Our movers were idiots. They showed up to our house 1 1/2 hours late and with only one guy to pack. Every other move we've made with movers, they were able to pack us up in one day because they bring at least three people. This took two entire days.

Then, they were told that we were estimated to have close to 12,000 pounds of household goods. We ended up with just over 9400 pounds and they still didn't bring a truck big enough to hold everything. 1/4 of our stuff was hanging out the back of the truck, strapped in and open to the elements. I can only assume (and fervently hope) that they loaded our stuff onto a bigger truck before they left for Florida. But this means that our stuff went from our CA house, to a small truck, to a big truck, and eventually, to the FL house. Ideally, you want your belongings loaded and unloaded as few times as possible to avoid damage.

They were done packing and loading on Wednesday, June 12, but still haven't called to let us know our delivery date and time. They were supposed to have (and told me they would) call on Thursday. This has me worried.

We also decided to have my car shipped rather than drive two cars in tandem. This company, too, has been incommunicado. The Mister sent them an e-mail on June 10 and we still haven't gotten a reply. At this point, I'm figuring my car is in Mexico at a chop shop. Oh. And the Mister accidentally left his keys in my car. Not that big a deal since I have copies.......except for the key to the cartop carrier. We only had one of those. Luckily, I was able to find a place that could make us a duplicate key for only $35 versus the $200 it would have cost to buy another one.

Lastly, the military housing people forgot about our moveout inspection. When you live in base housing, you have to have one of their people walk through and make sure you cleaned and didn't leave anything damaged. This caused us to get on the road 1 1/2 hours later than we had planned which caused us to get to our first stop in El Paso, Texas pretty late. Asshats.

And to top it all off...The Oldest child came down with this really weird rash on her leg. People on Facebook thought it was my rash because she was embarrassed for people to think she had ringworm. It def isn't ringworm. Anyway, a couple days after the rash, she got a really inflamed throat. It's absolutely disgusting. I've had tonsillitis a few times but my throat never came close to her grossness. I managed to get her into the doctor on June 12th, the day before we left San Diego. The doctor wasn't sure what was going on but guessed it was viral and that whatever was causing the rash was also causing the sore throat. He took throat cultures just to be sure. He called me today, SUNDAY, to let me know she actually has strep throat. Can you believe he called me on a Sunday? AND, he called in a prescription to a nearby pharmacy here in Florida. I so love him and am going to miss having such a great doctor. :(

On the Drive East...

The car drive east was relatively uneventful considering the 1977 miles we covered. We ran into some weather in New Mexico which spurned dust storms. The Youngest child now hates New Mexico. Then we ran into some rain in San Antonio. Then some really bad traffic in Alabama. The traffic added about an hour to our last day of driving. And wow! Louisiana drivers are rude asshats and that's saying something from someone who is used to California drivers. It's like they sent people from Louisiana to LA to learn how to drive like an idiot.

Now that we're here, things are going pretty good. Kinda got a shock at the hotel when they told us the price for the pet fee. As a result, we snuck the cat in. So, I'd feel bad about that if the pet fee wasn't MORE than the room fee. Plus, our pets are trained and do their business where they should. We're staying in a brand new Hyatt Place. It's really nice. After three days in the car, we appreciate having a living room area in addition to the bedroom area. The bathroom door has a tricksy lock though. Tricksy, tricksy lock. The Oldest child called me this morning (the Mister and I were getting lunch) asking me, "How do I get out of the bathroom?" I laughed so hard that it was a minute or so before I could answer her.

Navarre Beach, Florida
Navarre Beach at sunset


Last night, we drove out to Navarre to see the new house. It's in a great, private neighborhood. It's so quiet and all the houses are well maintained. The yard has flowers and plants in it that I'm sure I'll kill in the next month or so but they look nice for now. From what we could see from peeking in the windows, the inside is clean and nice too. Oh. And there's a whole stack of firewood in the backyard so we'll be set for when it gets colder. Right now, it's in the high 80's with tons of humidity. I love it.

We drove along the coast back to Pensacola (which was a really long drive because much of it was in 20 mph zones for nesting birds, heheh) and ended up getting dinner in Pensacola Beach. I had forgotten how crazy Pensacola Beach is in the summer with all the tourists. C R A Z Y!!! We ate at a really neat restaurant that backs up to the beach. Our table was literally right next to the sand. I could put my foot in the sand from my seat. When we were done eating (and we had awesome food) we just stood up and walked out to the water. You know. After paying the bill. It was so cool!!

So, assuming that our household goods haven't fallen of the back of the truck and my car isn't in pieces in Mexico, things are good on this end of the trip. We're hanging in the hotel until tomorrow morning when the rental manager guy will finally let us in the house. (Apparently, they don't work weekends.) Even if everything is lost, we're insured. We only own a handful of things that are irreplaceable so it won't be total devastation. Even so, my next blog post might be from jail after I do violence to some people if this turns out bad. We've never had our shipments be so up in the air before. It's disconcerting.

Bottom line, I'm thrilled to be here. I've never lived so close to the beach before. Maybe I won't be saying this should a storm roll through, but for now, I love where our house is located. The dog and cat we most excellent travelers. Better pets don't exist. The kids were good. No flat tires this time. Life is good.

Monday, June 03, 2013

Moving Update: Edition One Trillion and One


 I started cleaning and organizing. Finally. Last week. Nothing like leaving things to the last minute, right? We still want to try and have a garage/yard/moving sale before the packers get here. This means that it has to happen this coming weekend because our crap is getting boxed up a week from today, Monday. We have tons of girls clothes to get rid of. Mostly sizes 5-8. I don't know how I'm going to organize and price all that. We also have three TVs, one camera, a home surround sound system, car stereo and speakers, a lawnmower (maybe two), computer monitor, blender, coffee pot, two sets of dishes, etc etc etc. We don't get rid of anything. It's pathetic. You never realize how much of a pack rat/hoarder you are until it's time to move.

And to add to all the fun, I fell. On my butt. Again. This time, it totally wasn't my fault. I didn't trip over my feet or wear dumb shoes. I don't really want to say what happened because out of all the times I've fallen on my ass, this is probably the most embarrassing situation. I really did a number on my tail bone this time though. It has made organizing and cleaning SOOO much more fun than it would've been otherwise. The timing just couldn't have been more perfect. And if you know me at all, you know the stress is manifesting as insomnia. I was up at four this morning. I rolled over, hurt my butt moving, then my mind switched on and I kept thinking of all the things I need to get done. Sleep was over.

Speaking of inconvenient timing, the Mister, Oldest child, and I went to the Imagine Dragons concert Saturday night. The venue was SDSU's OAT (open air theater). It was a great venue. We've never been to an outdoor concert before. It was a lot of fun for me to climb up and down the stairs to and from our seats...which were concrete, by the way. Aside from the pain, and you don't sit for a concert anyways, it was a fab show. Out of all the concerts I've been to, this one was the most entertaining in that it was more than just listening to music live. They had a really neat light show that went along with the music. And they had this gigantic drum that when they pounded it, I swear, my eyeballs vibrated. This was the Oldest child's first concert and she had a really great time. I'm glad that the Mister and I were able to take her to her first concert. Good thing we like a lot of the same music, lol.

In other moving news...

We finally found a house. It's a four bedroom with a his and hers closets and dual vanities in the master bath. It has a nice kitchen with a breakfast bar, and an absolutely fantastic back yard. Our pets have been approved which has been a major issue. AND, it's located between the Santa Rosa Sound and the East Bay. At least I think it's the East Bay. It's some body of water. And it's minutes from the ocean beaches. It's also in one of the highest rated school districts. There's only two things against it:  1 - It's a bit of a commute to the Mister's base and 2 - The property manager seems to be a bit of a dillwad. Despite those things, we're probably going to take this house because it's the only one of out many, many, many houses that I've inquired about that has approved our pets. Do we take our chances turning this house down and hope that we'll find another in a good school district that will approve our pets when we move in a little over a week? Those are long odds in my opinion. And the lease is only for a year. No. I don't relish the thought of moving again in a year, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And who knows. Maybe this guy will turn out to be an ok guy. Miracles happen, right?

I've slowly been checking things off of my to do list. I called the vet to see about getting the cat sedatives. I also called to have our water filtration system picked up. It's gotta be out of here before our move out inspection because I didn't get permission to have it installed. Sorry. I'm not drinking dirty California tap water. I'm working to get my car shipped. Just waiting to get some estimates. I can't decide if I want to cancel my cable or just turn in our equipment and cancel it from Florida. Why, you ask? Because I have the TWC app and will be able to watch the season premier of True Blood. I'll also be able to watch Nurse Jacki. I'm sad and obsessed, I know.

So far, we've cleaned and organized the master bedroom, the garage, and the craft/game closet. Still to go:

  • Master Bath
  • Upstairs Bath
  • Oldest Child's room
  • Youngest Child's room
  • Office
  • 1/2 bath
  • Storage closet
  • Outdoor storage room
  • Laundry room (a bigger job than it may sound like because it has a lot of cabinets and storage space)
  • Kitchen
  • Living room
Looking at that list, I need to get off of here and get something done for the day besides making phone calls.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

16 Days and Counting


 We hit the road in 16 days. Time is flying. I think out of all of our moves, I am the least prepared going into this one. Just a little over two weeks before we go and we don't have a house in Florida yet. We are almost 1000 pounds over our max weight and haven't solved that problem yet either. We were (maybe still are) going to have a garage sale but nothing has been organized for it yet. I need to make arrangements to have my car shipped. I have done absolutely no cleaning or organizing within our current home. It's pretty ridiculous.

Even so, the closer we get to our move date, the more anxious and excited I am for it to finally get here. Once you know you're moving, especially a big coast to coast move like we're doing, your life is pretty much put on hold. It's hard to make plans. Every time I see something that I might like to buy for the house like new curtains or bathroom stuff or whatever, first I think, we're over our max weight and we don't need anything new and then I think, what if it doesn't fit/match/go with the new house?

After that, then I start fixating on all the stuff that I don't like about where we're currently living.
  • My refrigerator barely functions and I hate it but if I let housing give us a new one (this one can't be fixed) then I have to take a smaller one. Stuff already falls out on our feet, this one is so full. My freezer melts stuff.
  • The cable/internet here is horrible. 
  • I hate the traffic. 
  • All four of us have allergies so bad that it's like we constantly have the flu or a cold and none of us were like that before we moved here. 
  • Both of my adjacent neighbors smoke and they do so outdoors (and really. If you do something or have a habit that you won't even do inside your own home, is it really something that you need to be doing at all?????) so that when I have my windows open, I can smell it and I truly hate that. Badly, severely hate that.
  • I'm tired of all the barking dogs. 
  • I'm tired of not being able to find a place to park at my own freaking house. 
  • I'm tired of the beach being inconveniently far enough away that we've only been a handful of times in the three years we've lived here. Then, when you get there, there's no where to park and it's so crowded that you share towels with complete strangers. 
  • I'm really tired of the traffic (did I already mention that?) and California drivers. Not every trip on the roads should be a competition of who can drive the fastest and the most reckless but it is.
  • My carpet is an ugly poop brown color that housing probably picked out so that it would hide pet stains. 
  • And we're crammed into 1500 sqft of poorly laid out space where about 200-300 sqft of that space is unusable. One room is an oversized closet laughably called a fourth bedroom. 
  • A yard that takes ten seconds to mow because it's so small. If we had a riding lawn mower, five seconds. 
  • Out of seven ceiling fans, only three of them work right. 
  • Out of 3 toilets, only two of them are usable right now. 
  • I'm tired of living in a neighborhood where we're packed in like sardines: no yards, no parking, and streets aren't wide enough. And for the privilege, we get to be treated like idiot, charity cases by Lincoln Management (base housing people).
  • San Diego Unified School District. The schools here are atrocious. Terrible. Just horrible. I have a lot to compare them to and wow.

Then I think of the things I'm going to miss.

  • The scenery. 
  • The city. 
  • Shopping. 
  • Nearly perfect weather. 
  • The canyon outside of my back fence (which is probably the source of our allergies but it gives us a modicum of privacy that we wouldn't otherwise have at all).
  • Free utilities. We pay way too much rent for a place this size, but it comes with free electricity, water, sewer and trash. I like having my windows open with the AC running, bwahahahaha!
  • Base housing doesn't care what size dog you have (one of my neighbors has a Great Dane. It's the size of a pony.) as long as it's not on the aggressive dog list i.e., pit bulls, dobermans, chow chows. They don't consider Boxers to be an aggressive breed which is about the only logical thing housing has ever done. 
  • The things you only get in large cities:  Professional baseball, concerts, downtown, awesome restaurants, shopping (did I already mention that?), cultural stuff like museums and zoos, amusement parks.
  • Bevmo and Paso Robles wine. We have a hard enough time finding wines from Paso Robles here. I seriously doubt we'll be able to find any at all in Florida. And Bevmo is just awesomesauce.
  • The Pacific Time Zone. Weird, I know, but I like living in the Pacific Time Zone. The Central Time Zone sucks. 
  • Miramar's Exchange. It's so nice. I'll miss MCAS Mirarmar in general. I love that base and it feels like home. The Mister has served eight of his 16 years at this base.
  • Jennifer S. and her family even though I got to talk to and see more of them and her when we lived on opposite coasts. 
In my heart, the list of things that I'm not going to miss outweighs the things that I am going to miss and it makes it a bit easier to be going. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss California. I love it here and San Diego is the most fabulous city, but we've had a rough three years here and I think it'll do all of us good to be somewhere else for a while. We had really high expectations when we moved back here three years ago and I think we set ourselves up for disappointment before we even got here. Will we ever move back? Only time will tell. Who knows how we'll feel about things four years from now. Maybe we'll discover that Florida perfectly suits us and we'll buy a house and settle there for good. Maybe we'll find out that moving around for 20 years is in our blood and we'll be bitten by the moving bug and move somewhere totally new.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Thaddeus Nowak: Mother's Curse

Thaddeus Nowak, Mother's Curse


Title:  Mother's Curse

Author:  Thaddeus Nowak

Publisher:  Mountain Pass Publishing LLC

Pages:  269

Genre:  Young Adult/Fantasy

Setting:  A sort of mix of the fantasy world of Cothel and a medieval castle and country.

Where did you get it?  I received a free e-copy of the novel from Novel Publicity for participating in their whirlwind blog tour.

Why did you read it?  I'm always looking for something new. This book appealed to me because I've been in a Young Adult/Fantasy/Steampunk kinda mood lately.

From the publisher:  Sword Woman, Princess, ... Cursed Witch

Tradition holds that a mother who commits a mortal sin against the gods will be cursed with a daughter born a witch. Stephenie, the youngest princess of Cothel is just such a curse.

Hostage to her mother's will while her father and older brother fight a war two countries away, Stephenie must overcome her mother's plots if she is to save her father, brother, and the many soldiers she trained with.

Fearful of her mother's growing traitorous behavior, Stephenie must escape Antar Castle. But to do so, she might have to rely upon her hidden powers, risking others discovering she is a witch...a risk that would most certainly result in her death by burning.

With the help of a select group of soldiers and an unexpected ally, she just might survive.

What did you think?  I'll admit right at the start that I had a hard time getting into this book. It opens with the protagonist, Stephenie, locked in political machinations with her mother and then literally locked in her tower room of her family's castle. Other than the comings and goings in Stephenie's room, there isn't much action. I perservered though and I'm glad that I did.

Nowak pays great attention to setting the scene and the mood in his novels. Once you're pulled into his world, you can't stop reading and want to know what happens next. What's more, Nowak's approach to fantasy is unique. The fantasy genre gets a lot of flack for being formulaic and predictable; you take your prince or princess, throw in some magic and dragons and you have yourself a fantasy novel. Nowak's methods are fresh and it's really hard to tell that this is his first published novel. It's well-fleshed-out and you end up loving the world of Cothel and really caring about the characters and what happens to them.

That being said, I don't think I'd recommend this book for anyone younger than 14 but more like 15 or 16 and older. Nowak is detailed and expressive and some of his descriptions of fights and battles, injuries and casualties are pretty graphic. Other than the younger crowd, I'd recommend this series to veterans looking for a fresh take on the fantasy genre and anyone looking to try something new and different. Mother's Curse was fun and intriguing and leaves you wanting more.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

An Interview with Thaddeus Nowak

I am lucky enough to be participating in the Mother's Curse blog tour. The following is an interview with author Thaddeus Nowak. The interview was provided by Novel Publicity. My personal review of Mother's Curse will be posted on my blog this week. I really enjoyed the novel and it's sequel, Daughter's Justice. If you're looking for something new to read, I hope you'll take advantage of the $.99 price tag on both of these e-books.

Author, Thaddeus Nowak, Mother's Curse,


1. Stephenie surely defies stereotypes. Born a princess, but a tomboy. Cursed as a witch, but a likable relatable character all the same. How did you go about creating her character?
Stephenie was born in my imagination many years ago.  It was during a time I was struggling with another story. To help “get my creative juices flowing,” I started to write random scenes with random characters.  One scene I wrote was about a young girl who was alone in a public house where a conflict broke out, and she had to fight her way out.
Well, I kind of fell in love with the character and had to find out who she was, where she was going, and why she was alone in the world.  In making that discovery, I crafted the current story arch that is the Heirs of Cothel Series.  It took some time to work out her past and what her life would be like growing up as a witch and how the damaged relationship she has with her mother would affect her.  Based on those factors, her break from what would be typical for a princess seemed natural.
Which then led me to think of the girls I had grown up with and the women I know today; many of them are tomboys and are not afraid of getting dirty and running about the woods.  So it just seemed natural that Stephenie would be that way as well: a strong young lady who has her own motivations and agenda, but is compassionate and can sympathize with others, even if she cannot fix all of their problems.
As a bit of trivia, many aspects of that original scene are in Mother’s Curse.
2. Did you face any special challenges writing a female lead character, given that you are a male author?
Yes and no.  I grew up surrounded by girls.  My family had the only boys in the neighborhood for many years, so all my friends were female and that does give me something to draw from.
When writing Stephenie, I try to get into her head and see the world through her eyes.  Occasionally, I need to refocus and make sure she would really react in a particular way.  The good thing is I have had her in my head for so long that I usually have a pretty good idea of what to write for her.  My bigger challenges come with some of the other female characters and making sure I am true to them.
3. The tension between Stephenie and Sergeant Henton is one of my favorite parts of the book. How did you develop their relationship using such subtlety and not hitting us over the head with cliché romantic dialogue?
I am glad the subtlety of their relationship is being noticed.  I had one reader tell me they were worried that I might fall into one of the overused traps they see in so many YA novels.  Once they realized I had not done that, they were ecstatic.
I can say this approach in the story is very much me.  I am something of a romantic, but I don’t care for most of the stories dubbed as “romance”.  Do people act in stupid ways when they are trying to attract other people?  Of course, but too many stories seem to force stupid decisions upon the characters to ratchet up the tension.  Too many times, that is done through obvious misunderstandings that could be resolved with half a minute of conversation that the characters work very hard to avoid.
My goal is to never have a character deliberately sabotage their relationships for stupid reasons (at least not a character I respect).  If things work or don’t work, I want there to be more substance to the reasons.  I want the investment in the relationship to be greater, and so the emotions stronger.  Perhaps I’ve watched too many classic movies, but there is something very powerful about what is never said aloud between people.
4. The Kingdom of Cothel is at war. Could you tell us more about the front lines Stephenie is so desperately trying to escape to?
At the opening of Mother’s Curse, Cothel, and most of the other countries to the west, are fighting against an invading army that sailed in from the Endless Sea.  These invaders have many witches and warlocks in their ranks and are overwhelming the holy warriors and soldiers of the people who live around the Sea of Tet.  These Senzar invaders have killed royal families and left countries without rulers.  Stephenie’s father was quick to join the battle because his oldest daughter was married to the crown prince of Esland and one of the first to be killed.
The Senzar spent most of their focus driving toward a prominent mountain range in the middle of the land between the Sea of Tet and the Endless Sea to the west.  Their main forces have yet to cross over Cothel’s boarders.  However, they are on the doorstep of the country and Cothel’s forces are low on supplies and reinforcements.  Stephenie’s desperation is to reach her father and brother, the King and Crown Prince, because she fears her mother is plotting something that could put them and the people of Cothel at risk.
5. Although firmly rooted in the fantasy genre, Mother’s Curse and Daughter’s Justice remain quick-paced engaging reads not mired in the details of exotic lands or creatures. Why did you decide to depart from the genre with regards to this important aspect of storytelling?
While some fantasy novels feature lengthy descriptions and details about the various inhabitants, to me Mother’s Curse, Daughter’s Justice, and the subsequent books that will be in the series, are foremost about the main characters: Stephenie, Henton, and Kas.  The backdrop of the world, while important, really is a backdrop and I have tried to embrace the idea of less being more.
I am proud of the world I have created, but I am also willing to let the nuances soak in over time as they become relevant to the story.  For those who like to find out more about the lands Stephenie has to explore and the history I have created for those lands, I try to put some extra information up on my website.  I’ve been adding to it slowly, but have had requests for more information and will work to increase the frequency of the postings.
6. Which authors, film makers, and other sorts of storytellers serve as your primary influences in crafting this book series?
This is a good question.  In all my reading, I cannot recall consciously thinking I would like to expand on a specific idea in my own stories.  I am certain all the things I have read have had significant subconscious influences.  I grew up with a mixture of the classics (Isaac Asimov, Tolkien, Ursula Le Guin, and Arthur C. Clarke) and contemporary writers such as Joel Rosenberg, Barbara Hambly, Jane Lindskold, and Kate Forsyth.  There are, of course, many more I did not list.
From TV and movies, I would tend to pull more influences from the scifi realm.  For conscious influences, I would say I really liked the whit and humor of Farscape and how the characters got along.  The only thing I can say I remember the actual spark of the idea was from the movie High Spirits.  That movie lent me the idea that over many years ghosts would fall into a trance and continually relive an aspect of their lives, no longer aware of the world around them until something disturbed their environment.
7. How did you write the interactions between Stephenie and her mother without wanting to strangle the latter? And how did you craft such a formidable villain despite her maternal relation to our loveable hero?
Well, first off, I love my own mother, so no parental issues there.  I do know she got a few questions when other people first saw the title and read Mother’s Curse, but having been an early reviewer of the story, she’s also a strong supporter.
For Stephenie and her mother, I wanted the interaction between the two of them to be very toxic and antagonistic.  Years of mutual hate meant they knew how to push each other’s buttons and get under the other person’s skin.
Some of it I think I may have pulled from my experiences working in sales and dealing with difficult customers, but mostly it came from the number of years I worked in what was effectively the advanced support team of a crisis management center.  Our job was to help people recover large computer systems that were in real trouble.  It was high pressure work and not everyone could handle the customers who were themselves under incredible stress.  A big part of the role was simply human psychology, empathizing with the customer and helping to make sure they knew you had their best interests at heart.  It was really more managing the people than actually working to repair and troubleshoot the databases.
A natural side effect of learning how to help reassure people in a crisis is an insight into how one could hurt people.  Hopefully, I’ve managed to put those years of experience to good use in making believable villains.
8. Have any experiences, personal quirks, or people you know worked themselves into your writing? If so, how and where?
Well, not so much in Mother’s Curse or Daughter’s Justice.  There is a lot of me in the characters, especially when it comes to the pragmatic nature of several of them, but I did not really draw from any other people.  As a kid, I spent a fair amount of time gaming with my friends and that has lent me the ability to quickly imagine another person, craft some personality traits, and put on a different hat to play that part.
However, the next book, tentatively titled Daughter’s Revenge, will feature someone close to me in the pages.  I’ve had numerous requests to include a character for our horse, Dollar (original show name was Silver Dollar due to a white mark on his withers about the size of a silver dollar).  So, in book three, look for Stephenie and others to spend some time on horseback, and Dollar to be along for the journey.
9. When not writing, what do you like to do with your free time? Tell us something whacky and cool!
Free time?  I don’t quite understand the question. :-)
I have had to narrow down my list of hobbies and “want-to-dos” considerably over the years.  There is just not enough time in the day.  However, the primary activities I keep up with include:
Hiking.  Though we lack any mountains to make it challenging, I try to spend time on a couple local trails.  It is excellent time for working out specific plot details in my head.  This year I have two different vacations planned, both of them involve a week of hiking with my wife.  One will be in North Carolina, and the other will be on the west coast.
I often mix photography in with the hiking.  My wife and I are generally landscape photographers who want trees and mountains in almost every shot, though I do like shooting soft water.  I’ll definitely post a few shots of my vacations online after each of those trips.
I also try to keep fit at the gym, but that unfortunately slips from time to time.  However, I need to get back into proper condition to hike 15+ miles a day in the mountains with about 35 pounds of gear (cameras, lenses, and a tripod gets heavy).
And of course, I read a lot of novels when I can.  Though lately that has also been hit and miss.  I always feel guilty reading something else when I can be working on my own novels.  But sometimes I just have to take a day or so of solid reading and knock out a book simply for the joy of it.
10. What’s next for the Heirs of Cothel Series, and when can we expect book three?
Book 3 is tentatively titled Daughter’s Revenge.  I will let the title imply what it will.  As I have already alluded to, Stephenie and others will be going on another road trip, this time using horses.  She will learn more about herself and continue to grow as a person.  There will be a couple of new characters introduced, but aside from that, I don’t want to give too much away.
Regarding the release date, the first two books have released in the first quarter of the year.  I am am aiming to move that up some, but a lot of things have to come together with the proper timing to make that happen.  I will definitely keep everyone posted about when to expect book 3 on my website as things get closer.

As part of this special promotional extravaganza sponsored by Novel Publicity, the price of the Mother’s Curse and Daughter’s Justice eBook editions are just 99 cents this week. What’s more, by purchasing either or both of these fantastic books at an incredibly low price, you can enter to win many awesome prizes.
The prizes include a Kindle Fire, $450 in Amazon gift cards, and 5 autographed copies of each book.
All the info you need to win one of these amazing prizes is RIGHT HERE. Remember, winning is as easy as clicking a button or leaving a blog comment–easy to enter; easy to win!
To win the prizes:
  1. Get your copy for just 99 cents
  2. BONUS:  The sequel is also discounted to 99 cents
  3. Enter the Rafflecopter contest below
  4. Visit the featured social media event
Mother’s Curse is a coming of age story about the youngest Princess of Cothel and her efforts to save her father and brother from her mother’s schemes, while at the same time, coming to terms with what it means to be a witch. Get it on AmazonBarnes & Noble, or iTunes.
Daughter’s Justice continues Stephenie’s journey of discovery, where she must overcome national opposition to her being a witch as well as lead her friends and protectors on a mission to stabilize her countries finances. Get it on AmazonBarnes & Noble, or iTunes.
Thaddeus Nowak is a writer of fantasy novels who enjoys hiking, photography, and the outdoors. Visit Ted on his websiteTwitterFacebook, or GoodReads.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Feeling Like Staying Home

I've been having a streak of bad driving experiences. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but my anxiety has been through the roof lately with moving and such. I have to leave to pick the Youngest up from school in seven minutes and I'm dreading it.

Friday, I'm backing out of my driveway and almost plow into someone driving down the street. In my defense, this big behemoth of an oversized Freudian pickup truck was parked next to my driveway. I did look before backing up, but couldn't see anyone. Would it have been so much trouble for this neighbor of mine to have not slowed down and let tiny old me out of my driveway instead of speeding up so that I almost hit them?

Then Friday afternoon, I'm parked at the curb waiting for the Youngest to get out of school. A pickup parks behind me. Typical afternoon. I'm reading my book waiting for the kids to get out and I'm totally oblivious to the world around me. I happen to look up as she is walking towards the car just as the pickup behind me is pulling away, having already picked up his kid. And he yells at me through our open windows, "Don't even bother to pull up a little bit!!" What? First of all, I was there before he was and didn't make him park on my bumper. Secondly, I had no clue that he was having such a hard time pulling out into traffic. I wasn't, and it isn't my responsibility to, pay attention when I'm parked. Jackass.

Monday, yesterday, I'm driving to pick the Youngest up from school (I really only drive the kids to and from school these days. I have absolutely no life.) and I notice a bee in the back of my car. I freak. I hate bees. So, I drive as fast as I dare to get to her school so I can let the bee out of my car before it flies up to the front to ride shotgun. I felt pretty silly about that but I really hate bees.

Then, this morning, I'm dropping the Oldest off at school and traffic is backed up for blocks because the city of San Diego thinks it's a smart idea to start construction during rush hour and traffic was down to one lane. THEN, on the way home from dropping of the Youngest, another pickup, turns right on red. Instead of turning into the near lane like they should have, they turned into the far lane right in front of me. I was probably going 45 mph and I had to slam on my breaks. I slid a ways laying rubber and almost didn't have enough space. I came so close to eating their bumper. And I would have, my compact versus their pickup. My hands were shaking for a good ten minutes.

Now, I have to go. Wish me luck.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Freedoms, Poop, and Parenting

All we hear about these days is, "It's my right" to whatever; say what I want, go where I want, do what I want. Yeah. You'd be correct. Speaking from the point of view of an American, as a citizen of the United States, I do have certain freedoms. Speech, bearing arms, religion and all that. But those freedoms come with the responsibility of living with the consequences of my decisions and actions. Sure. I can say that I agree or disagree with gay marriage, but then I have to live with the backlash of whichever group disagrees with my opinion. I can decide to breastfeed in public, but then I have to live with the consequences of offending people that think baring my breasts in public should be considered indecent exposure. I can beat the crap out of my kids with a belt and defend my actions by saying, "It may not be the exact right thing to do, but at least my kids aren't shooting up their school." But then I have to live with my kids' hate and fear of me and the judgement of the public that believes that is abuse.


Parenting, Starbucks, Diaper change

This week, two headlines have been going through my head. The first one is about the couple that changed their baby's diaper in the middle of a Starbucks. It's my opinion that the parents in question were incredibly rude and that it's just disgusting to wave around human excrement in a place where food is being served and consumed by the public. Also, the headlines for this story are so misleading. The Huffington Post, for example says, "Starbucks Diaper Change Prompts Call To Police". It wasn't the diaper change that caused the Starbucks' employees to call the police, it was the actions of the father, Alex Burgos, that prompted the call. According to the article, he became belligerent and purposely dumped coffee on the floor. Really raises my opinion of these people that they behave so childishly right after claiming they were doing nothing wrong in the first place. How would you feel if I changed my kids smelly, dirty, germ-laden diaper on your dining room table during dinner and then right after than, shoved the meat platter onto the floor for kicks? Those parents had other options than changing that diaper in the middle of the Starbucks. I've been the parent of two babies. I speak from experience.


Armed Forces, Veterans, Discrimination

 Secondly, I just saw this article from our local news station this morning:  "Group of Vets Refused Service at Oceanside Grill" According to the article, the Davino's Cabo Grill refused to serve a group of American Legion motorcyclists because of the vests they were wearing. The motorcyclists said that the vests were covered in pins and patches that were all military related. But, the grill has a policy not to allow patrons to "wear colors", no matter what those "colors" may or may not be associated with. I guess that this particular grill has had problems in the past with certain groups so they have a policy in place that doesn't allow people to wear clothing associating them with a group, any group. 


As you know, my husband is a Marine. I also come from a very long line of veterans serving all branches of the military. I've even lived in a place where we didn't advertise being a military family because military service members were oftentimes the targets of violence and discrimination. Even so, a policy is a policy. This group wasn't being singled out. It's like a rep from the grill said, if they allow one group to get away with violating the policy, then they have to let everyone which, in the past, has led to fights and whatnot. It's my opinion that this business, or any business, should be allowed to protect their property and their patrons. The bikers had the option to remove the vests and then be served, but they refused. Free will exercised.

It's easy, at least to me, to see both sides to each of these two stories.

Sure. As a parent, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Been there, understand that. On the other hand, unless that baby had explosive diarrhea (in which case the baby should have been at home resting and not out on the town), I have a hard time believing that the parents had no other choice but to change that diaper in the sitting area of an establishment that serves food. I've been places where there wasn't a changing table in the restroom. I remember using the pad thingy that comes with diaper bags in the backseat of my car in those cases. If the situation was so immediate, why did the parents let the diaper get so full in the first place? Diapers hold a lot.    

As for the Vets, I believe in the absolute respect of our nation's Veterans. But I don't believe that being a Veteran makes you exempt for rules and laws. They were expressing their freedom of speech but the restaurant was also expressing their freedom to refuse service.

All actions, opinions, and words have consequences. Be sure you're willing to deal with those consequences when people call you on your sh--, er, I mean crap. And now that I've used my freedom of speech to express my opinions, I have to be prepared to deal with people that disagree with me. 

One last thing. Being a parent does not mean you get to behave like an inconsiderate, disrespectful, holier than thou, asshole. Being a parent does not put a golden bubble around you that allows you to violate other people's freedoms by being naked in public or exposing perfect strangers to fecal matter. Being a parent does not give you the right to behave like you are above the expected rules and norms of society. It certainly doesn't make you better than anyone else. Again. Just my opinion. 


America, Free Will

 Ok. One more last thing. Maybe we, as Americans, should learn the difference between freedoms granted by the Constitution and free will. I'll explain what I mean. As a sentient human being, I have free will. This means that I am in control of myself and free will allows me to walk where I want, say what I want, behave how I want, etc. I could, right this minute, grab a gun and walk into a bank and and use my learned vocabulary to demand that they give me all their money. There is nothing physically stopping me from doing this. That's free will. Free will comes with consequences which means that my hypothetical actions would most likely result in my being jailed. The Constitution grants me the right to say what I want but it doesn't exempt me from negatively using my free will to say what I want when it threatens the safety of others. Those parents had the free will to change their baby's diaper in public. Free will didn't exempt them from being inconsiderate human beings. No man is an island. Unless you decide to cut yourself off from society 100%, you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Get the difference???

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I Admit Defeat

Last night, the Mister and I were running a quick errand to the drug store to pick up the Oldest child's allergy prescription. I grabbed a pair of shoes out of the closet, being kind of in a hurry because it was already eight pm and she had gone all day without her meds. The shoes I grabbed have a history.


This bad pic doesn't do them justice. They're really cute.

First of all, the Oldest child picked them out as part of her 2012 Back to School trousseau. I just happened to think that they were the cutest pair of wedges and sort of commandeered them for myself. Turns out that she was pretty okay with that because she didn't like the heel on them. She's selfconscience  about her height (she's 5'7") and doesn't like to wear shoes that make her even taller. Tall, thin, blonde. Yeah. She has sooooo much to complain about, lol.

I wear these shoes with all sorts of outfits because they're a neutral color and go with lots of my neutral colored clothes.

Remember my post about the 2012 Miramar Air Show? I shared my humiliation about falling on my ass in front of dozens of spectators. I was wearing the same wedges that I was wearing tonight to the drug store when I stepped on a crack in the sidewalk next to the car and fell on my ass...AGAIN. Luckily, this time around it was dark and we were the only ones on the street. I'm done. Those shoes have kicked my ass, figuratively, literally and I'm done wearing them. I've fallen in them twice and have almost fallen in them countless times. I can walk in heels. I have high heeled platforms with a bigger heel than these shoes. There's just something about them that whenever I step on something uneven or a rock, the shoe twists and I lose my balance.

My neck and shoulder feel like I have whiplash and my ankle and wrist are all sore this morning from where I tried to catch myself from falling. Surprisingly, my tailbone, which I landed on, doesn't hurt at all. Done. Done, done, done wearing those shoes. They're trying to kill me.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Being Out of Order

I'm supposed to be blogging on a pseudo-schedule that I made for myself. Aside from skipping days altogether, yesterday was supposed to be a teenager post and today is supposed to be a current events post. I'm not in the mood. Anywho...


My most recent Bzz campaign is from Covergirl. I have to be honest with you. I love makeup but I'm not much for foundation. I hate the way that it feels:  heavy, cake-y, almost greasy even. Then, once I get past how it feels, the overall effect isn't worth the effort. So, going into this campaign, I have to admit that I had preconceptions and figured I'd hate it. Enter:::


Covergirl's Outlast Stay Fabulous 3 in 1 Foundation applies easily either using your fingers or a makeup sponge. I tried both and didn't prefer one over the other. I would call the coverage light/sheer. It looks natural while making my skin tone look more even and covering spots. I have oily skin which usually causes foundation to look like an unnatural buildup on my face at the end of the day. I didn't notice that with this foundation. I also really like that it has a built-in sunscreen which I need using acne medicine every day.

In the end, I'd totally recommend this foundation, especially to women who don't usually like to wear it or find it hard to apply. I used to think of foundation as a special occasion makeup but I'd use Outlast as an every day makeup as well. I was surprised to discover how much I liked this foundation.




::Disclaimer::

I received a coupon for a free bottle of Outlast Stay Fabulous 3 in 1 Foundation from www.bzzagent.com. All opinions are my own.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Been Around The Block

United States Map
States I've Visited. 32 down, 18 to go.


You know that you move a lot when you can drive from one coast to the other and not hit any new states. This is a first for us.

This move has been the most surreal of any of our previous moves. We've had the movers here already taking inventory of our stuff. We put in our notice at the military housing office and have scheduled our pre-moveout inspection. We've been looking at houses in Florida since January. And still, this move doesn't seem real yet. We're almost 1000 pounds over our max weight, by the way. That's another first.

Looking over our route, we won't be driving through any new states on our way to Florida. Big bummer for me. That's my favorite part of any road trip, driving through a new state. I guess, considering that this is our third coast to coast move, it shouldn't be any big surprise. We'll actually be driving the exact route, only in reverse, on our way to Florida. On our move from North Carolina to California in 2010, we went out of our way to drive through Pensacola so that the girls could see where we had once lived (back in 1999), never considering we would be moving there in three years. Ironies.

From today, May 7th, we hit the road in 37 days. It still doesn't seem real.


Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Laws vs. Morals

(The following is my opinion. It is not meant as a resource for you to use to form your own opinion.)

I wanted to write this huge piece on this topic that would have been researched to within an inch of its life and cited and all of my opinions and facts backed up by scholarly, or at least, credible sources. I might still do that, but for now, this is where I'm at with this particular subject.

Gun Control

gun control, guns, gun violence, 2nd amendment
  
I’d say about 50% of what I see on Facebook are those card things, pictures, articles, and opinions about gun control. Whatever they might be.  It’s in the news almost every day. Everyone has an opinion.

Whether or not I believe in gun control, I don’t think that’s the root of the problem when it comes to gun violence. The problem began way before all of these various teenagers and adults decided to get their hands on a gun and shoot up the handiest target. The problem began way before those offenders were driven to commit these crimes.

What causes gun violence?

·      Lack of parenting.

·      Lack of morals.

·      Lack of  consideration for the consequences of our actions.

·      The stigma attached to depression and other mental disorders.

In my opinion, and from what I observe on a daily basis, parents don’t parent anymore and teachers don’t provide structure and consequences anymore. Nobody commands nor demands respect from kids. We allow kids to walk all over us. They strut around tattooed and pierced, wearing enough makeup for ten people and clothes that wouldn’t cover an infant, pretending to be adults when they still act like irresponsible kids that they are. They show up late for school or just don’t go. They disregard their curfew if they have one at all. These same kids play in the streets and vandalize people’s property either deliberately or due to a lack of respect for other people’s things. They don’t turn in homework because there is little to no consequences for doing so. They bully other kids because it’s funny, because the other kids are different in some way, because their parents and teachers don’t tell them it’s wrong. NOBODY takes ownership of their screw-ups and EVERYBODY passes the blame off onto someone or something else. A kid is failing their classes. Well, it’s the school’s fault for not teaching them. No. It’s the parent’s fault for not making them do the work. No. It’s the kids’ fault for not doing their job as a student. Pick one. You don’t have grocery money. Well, it’s the government’s fault for not handing you money. It’s the economy’s fault for not having enough available jobs. It certainly isn’t your fault for spending money on beer, drugs, cigarettes and cell phones instead of food. We don’t teach our kids the fundamentals of respect, that they are not entitled to passing grades or iPods or cell phones or trips to the mall. We don’t teach our kids that there are consequences for their actions.

Society’s moral compass has become skewed. When did it become ok to walk around with your butt and/or underwear hanging out of your pants or out the bottom of your shorts or skirts? Sometimes I see women/kids/teens (who can tell with the amount of makeup on their faces and the provocative clothes they wear) walking around my neighborhood and I honestly can’t tell if they’re hookers or not. When did it become okay to portray drug use on regular, non-late night, non-premium channels? When did crass jokes of a sexual nature become every day on TV? Our society has become accepting of these things to the point where we no longer even notice them because they have become normal.


So, if it’s ok to be a half-dressed, potty mouth, when will it become acceptable to have, to talk about, and to ask for help for mental disorders? When I finally figured out that I have depression and social anxiety, I started talking about it out loud. Almost everyone that I have told, when they heard me talk about it first, they talked about their own messed up heads. This has led me to believe that there are a lot more people out there with some sort of mental disorder, whether mild or severe, than we realize because they are too embarrassed and/or ashamed to talk about it. Bottling this stuff up inside and then compounding it with shame only makes things worse or at least seem worse.  It’s sad that people have to feel this way about something that is largely out of their control. I certainly didn’t ask to feel anxious every time I’m around people. How many of our veterans return from combat only to silently deal with PTSD and then when it becomes too overwhelming, opt for suicide?? The stigma attached to mental disorders has to go away.

These are the things that lead people to picking up guns with the intent to do harm to others or to themselves. And you know what? They also go for knives, chemicals, and other means of violence. The invention of guns didn’t facilitate the invention of violence.  People have been doing violence to each other since cavemen were defending their mastodon meat from a neighboring caveman with wooden clubs.

Are you aware of the countries where gun ownership is already against the law or where they have very strict (I’m aware that’s a relative term) gun laws? Let’s take our neighbor, Mexico. The following are the types firearms Mexican citizens are allowed to own:

            1.            Semi-automatic handguns of caliber no greater than .380 (9mm Browning, 9mm Corto, 9mm Kurz, 9mm Short, and 9×17mm). Left excepted are calibers .38 Super and .38 commander, and also calibers 9mm. [Such as] Mausser, Luger, Parabellum and Commander, as well as similar models of the same caliber of the excepted, from other brands.
            2.            Revolvers of calibers no greater than .38 Special, left excepted is caliber .357 magnum.

Land tenure owners, common land owners and farmworkers outside urban zones, may keep and carry, upon registration, one weapon of those already mentioned, or a .22 caliber rifle, or a shotgun of any caliber, except those of a barrel length shorter than 25 inches (635mm) and of caliber greater than 12-gauge (.729" or 18.5 MM).


Additionally, Article 10 of the Federal Law of Firearms and Explosives states:
(translated) The firearms that can be authorized to participants of shooting or hunting, to keep in their home or to carry with a license, are the following:

            1.            Semi-automatic handguns, revolvers and rifles of caliber .22, rimfire ammo
            2.            Handguns of .38 caliber for Olympic shooting or other competition
            3.            Shotguns in all their calibers and models, except those with a barrel length shorter than 25 inches, and calibers greater than 12-gauge.
            4.            Triple-barrel shotguns in the calibers authorized in the preceding section, with a barrel for metallic cartridges of different caliber.
            5.            High-powered rifles, of repeating or semi-automatic function, non-convertible to full-auto, with the exception of .30 caliber carbines, rifles, muskets and carbines caliber .223, 7 and 7.62mm, and Garand rifles caliber .30.
            6.            High-powered rifles of greater caliber than those mentioned in the previous section, with special permission for their use abroad, for hunting of game bigger than those present in national wildlife.

Anything of a higher caliber than those listed above are considered to be for military and police use only. Additionally, Mexican citizens are only allowed to own up to two firearms for home protection.

·      The percentage of homicides in Mexico committed with a firearm:  54.9%

Now let’s consider our other neighbor, Canada, which doesn’t have a guaranteed right to bear arms law at all.

·      Percentage of homicides in Canada committed with a firearm:  32%


 I didn’t bother to look up statistics on gun violence that did not result in death. Call me lazy.

The point I’m trying to make is that countries with strict gun laws have not eliminated gun violence and I feel safe in predicting that they will not do so, at least not in my lifetime. Probably not my children’s lifetime either. When and if various countries eliminate gun violence, people will still have the ability to strangle each other to death with their bare hands. What's the solution to that?

Limiting or eliminating American’s right to bear arms isn’t the solution to the problem of gun violence. All this will serve to do is to take firearms away from law-abiding citizens while ensuring that criminals will remain armed. You can’t end gun violence until you get rid of all the guns on the planet, including those used by the police and military. Then you also have to get rid of all the facilities capable of producing and manufacturing guns. This includes getting rid of the minds with the knowledge needed to manufacture guns. What would you, those of you in favor of eliminating gun ownership, propose that we do with those people? Take them out back and shoot them?

Dreaming up stricter gun laws is easy. Taking away guns is a tangible so-called "solution". Actually owning up to our lack of morals and ethics as a society is hard to do. It’s not something that we can actually put our hands on whereas guns are and therefore the "obvious" answer is to take them away from law-abiding citizens. Again, admitting out loud that we are making mistakes with our kids and neglecting them by not setting rules and boundaries and then enforcing those rules and boundaries is hard to do. As is not making excuses for their bad behavior. It’s hard to admit and it’s even harder to figure out a solution and then act on that solution. You can’t look at incompetence and societal degradation and then take it away and melt it down into something else the same way that you can a gun. Gun laws are easy and America is kidding itself if it thinks an easy "answer" is the actual solution to this difficult problem. It’s not even a starting point.  

And for pete’s sake. Don’t you realize that the politicians who, yesterday, didn’t have an opinion on gun control or had a relaxed opinion on gun control but today they are all about writing new gun laws to "protect" their constituents are only doing so to get or keep your vote?? Can’t we think with our own brains and stop eating that crap up with a spoon?? Hello! Obama and gay rights. Just saying.

Further Reading (may or may not have anything to do with my opinion):

http://news.brown.edu/pressreleases/2011/10/guns 

https://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/schools/law/lawreviews/journals/bciclr/35_1/iclr_35_1_web.pdf

A vast repository of articles on the 2nd Amendment as well as a plethora of other political-type subjects. 

More: Do your own due diligence. Form your own opinion based on valid research, your own sense of ethics, and information presented from both sides of the issue. If you attend school, use your school's library to find scholarly, researched, peer reviewed articles.