I was in a ripper of a mood yesterday. And the day before come to think of it. Today's not much better. I was trying to figure out why I was/am so irritable. The littlest things are setting me off and I have a pretty strong urge to break something...or someone. Then I realized the date. It's July 20th. One year ago today we said goodbye to Hannah.
At the time, I couldn't blog about it. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it and I still don't want to talk to anyone about it. I had a really hard time sorting through my feelings and mourning my girl. On the one hand, I couldn't help but feel that I was overreacting. She was, after all, a dog. Some people will say, "just a dog". But if you know me and if you know my husband and daughters, you know that our pets are very much a part of our family. We talk to them like they're people, they sleep in our beds, and they eat Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with us too. Not at the table, but they get their own plate. Hannah wasn't just a dog.
Making the decision to end her pain and sickness was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. My head knew it was the right thing to do but my heart ached. It was a really terrible time. The Mister and I were with her until the end which was also incredibly hard. But we didn't want her to be alone. I cried so hard that I made the vet cry too. I'm crying right now remembering it all.
We made a collage of pictures of Hannah and Bailey to hang on our wall. The vet also made an imprint of her paw in plaster for us too. Both her regular vet and the specialty vet we had to take her to sent us sympathy cards and donated money to a charity for pets (I can't remember which one right now). It's all a comfort to me and my family but I miss her all the time.
She was the goofiest, happiest, and most endearing dog I've ever been around. She was also one of the most loving animals I've ever met too. Her passing left a whole in our home and in our hearts. A year later, it's still hard to think about and both the Mister and I have a hard time talking about her. I guess my way of dealing with it is being angry at everything. I miss my Hannah. She was a fantastic dog and she loved her family and was loved by her family.