You ever have a moment or event in your life that clearly delineates a "before" and "after"? My earliest of those moments that I can remember is when I spent the summer with my brother when I was 16. Before I went, I was painfully shy, backward, and the very opposite of self-sufficient. Then I went to stay for the summer away from my parents with my brother. I learned to do my own laundry, I had my first serious boyfriend; it was a summer of change. I came home not a grown up for sure, but on my way to being a young woman.
I've had other such moments in my life: getting married, becoming a mom, the three years in Vermont. This past Tuesday was another such day. It was another before and after event. If you think I'm being dramatic, even Bailey, my dog, has noticed a change. Hannah, my other dog, is too oblivious, lol. What the hell is my point? This week has truly been a week full of craptasticness. Crappy, craptastic, crap. And to top it off, there was a pretty big shake up with one of my clients. Everything is different and not in a good way. Actually, there were two craptastic revelations that occured on Tuesday. It will be forever in my mind The Day of Craptasticness.
I wish I could go back to Monday and try to live Tuesday differently. I wish e-mail and cell phones didn't exist. That's really saying something coming from me, lol. If I could really have any wish at all, it would be to go back to 2003 and avoid Vermont altogether. Why did those three years have to be so freaking pivotal? My sister's husband went to culinary school in Vermont a while back. He had such a terrible time there that he still believes Vermont is evil and they wouldn't come and visit us while we were there. Aside from the good friends I made while we were living there, I believe Vermont is evil too. And considering what happened on Tuesday, I would give those friends up, as much as I love them, to have not ever had to live there.
I'm sure things with my work will work themselves out. I'm in need of more clients should you know of anyone that could make use of my talents. I feel terrible for the other people that were involved in this work shakeup more than I feel for myself though. My pay doesn't support my family but rather it cushions it a bit I guess. I can afford to lose a client and wait for another to come along.
As for the other thing that happened on Tuesday, it's not going to kill me and I'm not dying so I guess I'll survive it too. Don't ask cuz I'm not telling. Anyone. At all. Oh. And I have no plans on killing anyone else either. ;) Sometimes life sucks and that's the price to pay for being. More often than not, it doesn't though, right?