Thursday, September 03, 2015

Because Hate is Such a Harsh Word

I don't usually like to put my very personal, and in this case, family, drama online for all to see, but since I don't want to actually have to talk to or see any of  you people, I'm left with few options.

First of all, out of a 20 item list, only TWO of those items were directed at ONE specific person. I am not defending myself here, only explaining, so choose to believe me or not, I don't give a damn.

Secondly, I think what got everybody's panties in a twist was item number 20. So, instead of owning up to the fact the NOBODY in our so-called family asked if we needed help during a natural disaster, you all have chosen to pick apart the rest of what I wrote and find ways to make those things about you. We had FEMA. We had Navy engineers. We had strangers walking down the street offer to help. We had the neighbor across from us, with whom we had never exchanged more than a hello and a wave, offer us their spare room. We had the neighbor behind us. He stood in my driveway with me and hugged me while I cried over the damage to some irreplaceable items. We had our next door neighbor clean and repair our Christmas decorations; things the girls had made over the years that couldn't be replaced. We had our 17 and 15 year old daughters. This is the help we had to recover from a natural disaster. Not one person in our "family" offered to lift a finger and help.

It's been easy for all of you to use me, Trisha, as the scapegoat for the last 18 years. No matter what is said or done or who has said or done it, the blame is placed on my head. A big part of that is because I'm not afraid to say what needs to be said. I say what a lot of us are thinking or, let's be honest, what is being said behind backs. You know how many people have discussed item #12 over and over and in different groups and have, basically, the same opinion that I do on the subject but don't actually bring it to light like it should? Now, you're all using that as a reason to denigrate me worse than the adulteress who actually committed the act...twice. Have any of you, in your feckless cowardly choices, ever thought of those two children? Living this lie is depriving them of an entire world and culture that they deserve to be exposed to. Figure it out.

So, I wrote that entire post to specific people in Ohio. Care to tell me who got butt hurt over #7? Which one of you is forcing your cat to be a vegetarian?

It is so funny how you all have taken so many of the things I wrote and then made them about you. Honestly, I don't think about you guys that much to have that much to say about you. You all don't live in my head as much as I, apparently, live in yours.

To CJ, item #9 had absolutely nothing to do with you unless, unbeknownst to me, you have killed big game like lions and elephants. This is my point made clear that none of you actually know me at all. I come from a long line of hunters. I've always respected that and in the case of my cousin JH who hasn't bought meat from a grocery store in years, admired it. It's also clear that you didn't actually read what I wrote because I made clear the point I was trying to make. But let's be honest here. You and I have never been simpatico in the 20 years we've known each other.

Item #14. Anyone who knows me knows that picky eating is a pet peeve of mine. I've never, not once in my life, been shy about this fact of me. I truly believe that you're depriving yourself of fantastic culinary experiences by being afraid to try new things. I won't apologize for having a point of view or an opinion. As far as BP is concerned here, I told her this very thing when I opened my home to her for a month. Stop using her as an excuse to be pissed off about this one and to threaten bodily harm to me. Btw, do you know how ghetto and stalkerish and childish that makes you sound?

Oh. And #4 was about the fact that I have 1st cousins I've never met. Of the people that are so sure this one is about them, how are we related in such a way that this could be true? How, exactly, is the fact that I have relatives that I've never met make this about any one of you at all?? I didn't even have you drama queens in mind when I wrote that one. But thanks for letting me know my own mind.

Next, the fact that you all like to think that everything you hear or see coming out of my household is from me and me alone makes my husband sound like he's incapable of thinking for himself. He's in the top five of the most intelligent people that I know. He's logical, down to earth, rational, and realistic in his thinking and he's just freaking smart. Believe it or not, we agree on most topics. You all are making him out to be some kind of pussy-whipped fool, which he most certainly is not. If any of you actually understood how a marriage works, you'd know everything about my husband and I is 50/50. This is why we remain happily married after almost 20 years. Get a freaking clue here. But like I said, I get that it's easier for you guys to dump on me than it is to admit that maybe he's thinking these things too.

Lastly, I'd like to thank all of you that whipped this non-thing into the frenzy that it's become. You've made it so that I can stop pretending. If I've ever said or done anything that's thoroughly dishonest, it's been attempting to keep the peace for the last 11 years, which I've done solely for my kids and not anybody else. By reading more into this than there ever was, you've finally given me license to cut ties and that's such an unbelievable relief. Any phone numbers that I have for you have been put on my auto reject list (a feature that I LOVE about cell phones) and I've unfriended you all on Facebook and double checked my privacy settings. Most importantly, you are not welcome in our home. DO NOT use my children as a way of communicating with me. The Oldest Child is old enough to make up her mind about you guys and the Youngest Child has no idea what's going on. Try to be freaking adults, and I know how hard that is for most of you, and keep it that way. If you want to have any relationship with them at all, that is. The blatant fact that you all are so willing to believe the worst of me, to dump all blame on me, and to attack me at the drop of the hat is hurtful, not that any of you would own up to that either. I'm done giving you guys that power over me and allowing you to hurt me like that. All of you have been this big, sucking, black hole of negativity and drama in our lives FOR YEARS! I'm done. You do not fit anybody's definition of what it means to be family.

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