Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Need Feedback

I have an issue and I need to know if I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Please, if you decide to leave a comment at all, be honest and don’t worry about telling me to lighten up.

The youngest came home from school today and told me that if she doesn't  bring  something to her classroom Valentines Day party that she won’t be allowed to participate. Now, I have no problem whatsoever buying chips, cookies, plates, cups, or whatever they need for the party. I always contribute something. I do  have  a problem with them saying that it’s mandatory or my child won't be allowed to participate in the party at all. The way I see it, she’ll be punished  if I don’t buy something for their party. Oh. And they forgot to print up letters to send home to the parents so all we get is word of mouth notice two days before said party. Whatever. The dumb letter wouldn’t have been spelled correctly anyway. Hmm. Anyway. At first I didn’t believe her and I thought that maybe she just didn’t understand what her teacher had said. So, I asked two other kids that are neighbors of ours and are in my daughters class  what their teacher had said about the party and whether or not their parents had gotten letters. They confirmed what my daughter told me and one of the older siblings who is now in junior high said that the same thing happened when this woman was her teacher and that she was just mean, lol.

Is this right? Do you think that the children should be obligated to bring something to the party in order to be allowed to join in the fun with the rest of their classmates? And what about the parents that can’t afford to send anything in? Are they to be punished because rather than buying  conversation hearts for the party they bought milk in stead?? That last part is a bit dramatic but you get my point. I’m sure that there are parents out there that can’t afford to buy extras for a frivolous party.

I don’t remember it being like that when I was in school. AND, I know for a fact that it wasn’t like that at any of the other schools my kids have  attended. I’m pretty angry and I really think I’m going to say something to the school. Classroom parties are supposed to be fun, not a way for the teachers to punish the kids.



  1. That sounds like a party that is destined to be a flop. Force people to participate? What a witch!

  2. Anonymous5:21 PM

    I can't agree more with you! This is sheer insanity! If the students can't afford something like that, wouldn't they feel inferior? Morons!

  3. This was the kind of tone used all the time when my kids went to public school. (we homeschool now)

    The party is a symptom of a greater problem.

    From the teacher's perspective, it's hard to get all the kids to participate. And the burden usually falls on some parents. The thing she's not realizing is that her negative tone won't fix the problem.

    I would just let her know that the notice came across wrong. BUT - also send something. Teach your kid to focus on still wanting to do something for her friends.

    Your kid's teacher is a Grinch, but she needs assertive compassion, not defensive confrontation.

    In other words, if you approach in a negative tone similar to how she approaches her profession - your message will get lost in the tone.

  4. Peggy~~I think it was destined to be a flop when they forgot to send letters home to the parents and gave us two lousy days notice in the first place. They aren't even sending a class list home so that they can exchange Valentines cards.

    Rampantheart~~Forcing participation would be a definite way of singling out the less fortunate kids.

    Nathania~~I will keep your advice in mind when I talk to the teacher tomorrow. I agree that going in on the offense would be setting the wrong tone.

  5. I am sure that some parents never contribute, and not because they can not afford it, the parents just do not want to be bothered. When the teacher gives you guys such short notice it is hard to get many of them to pitch in and make a special event for the children. But in any case you do not exclude a child no matter what. Would she acually let everyone eat cup cakes while one or two children sit and watch. What kind of lesson does that teach the children? (this woman does sound mean)

  6. Anonymous8:53 AM

    I would be upset also. I don't think it's fair that your child has to bring something or they will be left out. That's not right. Besides the fact that not sending a note home to parents is inexcusable in my opinion. I know teachers are busy but it really doesn't take much to print out a short note.

  7. Oh I completely agree with you. I think that is pretty harsh. What about the kids who can't afford to bring in treats or even those who just simply forget ...they shouldn't be made to feel left out. Has anyone said anything to the principal?


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