Gonna Be a Weird One

I have a general feeling of weirdness. Time Warner finally got the HBO Go app (Time Warner is the parent company of HBO so why in the world were they one of the last cable providers to get this app???) so I've been catching up on the show Six Feet Under. I've kinda been watching it nonstop for several days now. I'm a big fan of both Michael C. Hall and Peter Krause so I had to give this show a try. To be completely honest, I have a hard time seeing Michael C. Hall as anything other than Dexter Morgan. It's strange watching him having actual feelings and it's even more strange seeing him be a gay man. I had never heard of him before the show Dexter so that's probably why I'm having a hard time adjusting.

I'm into season three and I really like this show. It's so existential. How can a show about undertakers not be? I've been in a weird place for about a year now. I can't really explain it and don't want to on a public blog. But Six Feet Under is really speaking to me, making me question things and pay attention to other things. Has anyone else watched this show? Please tell me if you have and what you thought about it.

Monday was MLK Jr. Day.

Today, all the schools, year around and traditional, went back to school. Traffic was so light is was almost scary. Where was everyone this morning? Then, I came home and had a second cup of coffee with a bagel and cream cheese. A) I don't eat breakfast. And 2) I hate plain cream cheese. What's up with that??

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I've been entirely neglectful of going to the doctor on a regular basis. I don't think I've been to the doctor since Vermont. That would be five or six years, I would guess, at the least. I hate going to the doctor for several reasons. One, I haven't been to a doctor in years (if ever) that I've actually liked. They always walk into the room but keep one metaphorical foot out the door because they're so dang busy they don't have time to give you their full attention. Two, doctors are pill pushers and I hate taking meds. Going to the doctor stresses me out and makes my blood pressure high (I've been losing sleep over the anticipation of going too). I actually let one doctor prescribe a pill for that and all it did was make me pee ALL DAY LONG. And it was the kind of urgent pee that I was afraid to leave the house. How can a person live like that? So I stopped taking them. Three, I'm afraid that one time I'll go into the doctor and actually have something fatally wrong with me. I think I have a fear of illness. I don't want my life to be structured around one doctor's appointment after another and having to count out pills just to get through my day. I think I also equate pills, doctors, and illness with being old. I have a fear of that as well. You know. Being old. I'm putting all that baggage aside and going in tomorrow though. I've met this doctor already. I took both of the girls to him last year. With both of them, he actually came all the way into the room and sat down and talked with me. I have hopes that he's not a total asshole. (sorry) And before someone goes off the deep end, I'm not going because I suspect something is wrong. Geez.

This weekend the Mister and I are taking a date night. I know I said on FB that we were going last weekend but the Mister and I had a miscommunication and we had actually planned to go this weekend. The Mister is also taking a father/daughter day with the girls one day this weekend. None of us have any idea what we're doing for either day but we'll figure it out.

Oh. And one last weird thing. I can't find freaking ground pork anywhere and there seems to be a general shortage of pork products. The commissary was out of almost everything pork related so we went to Albertsons. I actually asked the butcher for ground pork and he said they were out. We checked back a day later and still no ground pork. Wth is up with that? I'm going to be two meals short this week because I can't find the meat that I need.

Everything is just weird right now.